I could see using the same rotary phone in this and believing that somehow there would be a voice on the other end.
There isn’t a logical or rational explanation for it but I could see it working or at least feeling like it did in a way and that might be enough.
Might be enough is something I have thought about quite a bit because there are are areas of life in which you have to figure out what might be enough.
Came up with two awesome ideas for Post Secret and am almost smirking now because one ought not to share their secret here if you are going to post it there.
But then again sometimes you whisper into the wind what your intention is and then you see if the magic will fill your sails and send you towards the destiny you are trying to meet.
Something happened earlier today that I can’t explain or articulate in ways that include a beginning, middle and end.
But I know it was felt and experienced, consciously or otherwise and maybe that will be enough.
You don’t know, can’t know unless you have the strength to take the chance and see if maybe you will pick up the phone.
The Big Scary Man
Sent out a thought, a question and an idea signed it “the big scary man” and chuckled.
Scary in the sense that I can upset the apple cart, turn the world inside out and upside down but not in any other way.
Some things simply are for reasons that are described as inexplicable or boiled down to “my feelings” because it is expected that you can’t argue with such.
You feel or you don’t feel X, Y and Z.
I get it, but it is not entirely true. Sometimes we treat our feelings like the fire in the fireplace and use the damper to try to and extinguish them.
It seems easier and safer that way. Push them down, tamp them out and pretend they never existed.
Maybe it works for some, but it doesn’t for me and I stopped trying to fool myself.
Been thinking about it in terms of Covid and resuming a normal life.
There are certain safety steps I continue to take but I am also resuming a more normal approach because it is a mental health necessity for me and others.
I have done fine and functioned well during all of this but it could be better than fine and I am not content to just pass through life.
There is a time for wandering through the woods quietly and another for blazing a trail. I am better at being the trail blazer and demonstrating a willingness to walk through the bushes when necessary instead of around.
My heart cannot take it any other way.
Peace Of Mind
I have an early morning meeting later this week at a place not so far away from my first apartment.
I thought I recognized the street name but made a point to drive the route today so that I would have some peace-of-mind the day of.
Figured it would help me know where I was at and if I got stuck in traffic or something else happened it would make it easier to adjust.
Headed out towards the old neighborhood and discovered the reason the address was familiar is because I interviewed at a place across the street from it.
Made me laugh because I remember thinking I probably had nailed it, thinking that would be my new office.
Would have moved from my first place to something slightly closer Grapevine and the airport but I didn’t get the position. Never found out why though I tried to.
Tried pretty damn hard to make lots of things happen, some did and others didn’t. Had moments of extreme frustration and moments where I felt so many things falling into place.
Learned without question that timing is everything but that also that it doesn’t mean that what you strive for will not happen.
Sometimes it still comes about just later than you hoped, dreamed and or planned for.
Life doesn’t have to be relegated to pictures in a box that you take out and look at occasionally.
Some pictures have yet to be taken so break your favorite pair of shorts, sundress or whatever cuz things are happening.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but they are happening.
