I wrote about the dragons we dare not slay and explained why elsewhere thinking it would relieve some of the angst but it hasn’t.
The fire that was set off by the news of the day burns with more intensity than I let on and it is galling to accept I can do no more than I have.
It is hard to focus and hard to relax but I am working upon it because there are no other good options. No choices that provide a respite nothing to be done but wait and see what transpires and respond based upon that.
The concern is simple and it is not to lose all of the progress that has been made. I don’t really believe that will happen but there is that whisper about what could be.
I had thought it had been jammed into shackles at the bottom of the basement but when I was cut off by another driver I discovered otherwise.
A string of curses issued from my mouth and for three minutes I did not repeat a word or take a breath.
That is how I knew it was bothering me a little bit.
The Conversation We Need To Have
The tick tock of the clock doesn’t move in concert with the one inside my head. Can’t decide which one I ought to pay attention to because there is reality and there is reality.
The internal one says the conversation we need to have with June about the kingdom has to happen and it must be in person.
The external suggests that we question if it is a skin placed upon reality and that if we remove it that will lead to a different perspective.
That maybe time is as limited as it seems internally but that if we take a breath and pause for a beat we can find the eye of the storm and converse without chaos.
Something feels off on my left side, around my left leg. Haven’t figured out exactly what but if I stretch or move certain ways I feel a pain.
None of those stretches or moves are things I do naturally which makes one think I ought not to make those moves.
But that is not how I operate. I don’t ignore the flame or the larger fire just because. I head closer to confirm that my eyes haven’t fooled me and that what might be really is.
Still I wonder if it will heal naturally or if I can find an alternate stretch that will alleviate the pain.
Maybe something is merely out of balance.
The Echoes
Visited one of the other online joints and was dumbfounded to see how long it had been without me and tried to figure out how that happened.
Dug around in the closets, updated, cleaning and clearing things out and thought some more about what I ought to do about it.
Change or update the theme. Delete. Leave as is or update.
Some would notice and some wouldn’t because they are long gone and much of what remains are echoes and ghosts.
Some ask if I call it a cemetery but I say not really. It is a graveyard, a forest and a farm.
There are spirits roaming through it, some undead by choice and some by curse but not all is like that.
Crops planted long ago no longer lie fallow and the forest has trees that were seedlings not so long before.
There is life stirring throughout and it is clear to those who still visit that all has not been lost or forgotten but it is different than it once was.
Different doesn’t have to be worse nor does it have to be better, it is just different.
Music accompanies the hiker and adventurer through the woods giving thought to the idea that maybe those who once were as close as could be will be so so again.
Bird fly and deer amble past.
So much history and so much life, maybe more life to come than past history as one never does know.
Still thinking about the dragon, brain moving through possibilities on how I might be able to enter the battlefield but nothing makes sense.
No reason to put my armor on or fetch my sword because I cannot do this part. Have to wait and watch.
Hate that.
So much time lost to waiting and watching but that is how life goes.
Sleep may be hard to come by this night.
