Indigestion Or A Heart Attack

Sandy could sing, no doubt about that but her days of sharing new material and old are over.

So now we listen to that which we have access to and look for new parts and pieces we haven’t noticed yet.

Flip back to that which you might not have read if you want or keep going forward knowing my mood is at this moment intemperate and what I might usually say elsewhere may show up here.

Had a moment this morning where I asked myself if it was indigestion or a heart attack and then I remembered the members of Y’all Qaeda are correct, I have no heart.

Jumped in the Batmobile and put another 80 miles on during a day in which the providence procured from prior efforts demonstrated its worth.

Or in simple terms, I made shit happen.

It looked effortless to a few people because I was on my game and I was very good at what I did, but the real truth is I had already done all of the hard work.

This moment was the equivalent of taking a slice of pizza from an open box and I am more than grateful for it.

Win, Win, Win

It is good to get a win and know it is the result of a tremendous amount of hard work. Doesn’t hurt to have a little luck kick in either.

No doubt in my mind that while it is better to be good than lucky there is much to be said for luck.

So I sit here staring out a window with all of the intensity this man can muster knowing that I am going to have to lean in to a few things again because sometimes you have to make your own luck.

Stumbled onto and into a couple of things I didn’t expect and now am involved with more complexity than I had wanted.

Feels a little like someone gave me a car that doesn’t run, some parts and tools with instructions to figure out how to make it work.

There was a moment of panic, followed by a deep breath and a systematic approach to breaking into bite size pieces.

Thought about a secret world I keep as a refuge and wandered through the trees for a bit and got an idea.

I think the car is running, not particularly well, but running and I am proud of that because that is all me.

Now I get to find out if I will get any support or if this is another one of those things I do on my own.

Your Claim Is Approved

Doc has run me through a series of tests and a couple of times the facilities asked for a credit card just in case my insurance didn’t cover it.

I asked them to tell me the maximum amount I would have to pay if insurance declined to cover and I cringed a bit when they responded.

It was enough to be painful and for a moment I thought about telling one of them to forget it.

That is PTSD from the past when I gave up my health insurance because it was that or asking the family to give up eating every day.

Those days are long gone and so I gave over the card and declined to complain about how they could ask me to pay more when I pay a ridiculous amount each month.

Can’t tell you how nice it is to get an email saying my claim has been approved and that I do not owe anything more.

Damn if I don’t want to grab a beer and celebrate or a sip on some Scotch. Maybe not today, but eventually.

Almost Twenty Years

Been almost twenty years of adventures, some real, some imagined and some yet to be had.

If I had more sense I would have run and kept running but that isn’t me, never has been and probably never will.

I won’t take the easy road because the road less traveled is where life happens.

Not that you can’t have a nice life on the easy road, but I don’t want to just pass through the days.

You are going to have to dance in the fire and be a storm walker some days and you can either accept that or fight what you are.

Every time I fight the latter I pay a stiff price, so if I am going to be stiff, well might as well get the full benefit.

Seems to me when you are at base camp of Everest you can look at the summit and imagine or you can try to climb it.

I am a climber, it is the only way to get the answers.