Niagara falls fell upon my car and it was nearly impossible to see the cars in front of me but the lights from the semi behind me were bright enough to know it was too close for me to rest comfortably.
Couldn’t switch lanes because I couldn’t see if there was a car to the right and I knew the concrete medium on my left wasn’t interested in a warm embrace.
Made for a solid ten minutes of an adrenaline rush I didn’t want and couldn’t escape, especially when it was in the first eight miles of a 75 mile journey.
The downpour slowed and the rest of the trip out was almost dull in comparison…until the ride back.
I didn’t see the sign warning that about the road flooding until I was almost passed it and on top of a car with flashing red lights that appeared to be moving with the current.
Brain went into overdrive and I started looking for somewhere to turn and thinking about what I would do if I had to bail out of the car.
Once upon a time I was trained as a life guard and good enough in certain events to have placed within the top fifty or so swimmers in LA in certain events. You weren’t going to see my name in the top ten but I could swim for hours in ocean or pool.
Except that was long ago and I am not that swimmer now but I don’t ever give up easily and started thinking about who I would call to ask to go for help.
Balanced it between whether it ought to be 9/11 or someone I could trust to share important thoughts and messages.
Not sure why my head went so extreme, but it did.
Found a place to make a hard left and avoided finding out if I could turn my car into the U.S.S. Wilner and made a crack about this not being the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Ten minutes later nature tried to slap the cocky out of me by opening the skies up upon me again.
Went through a repeat of not quite white knuckling it and as the rain slowed took a call from the doc’s office.
“Mr. Wilner, we looked at your labs and need more bloodwork.”
Told the nurse to call in the order and said I would drive straight to the lab.
Asked if I should be concerned and I swear I heard Nurse Warm-My-Heart say “these aren’t good.”
The call disconnected and I might have said something colorful and spent the next 68 miles reminding myself there was no need to be concerned until there is a need to be concerned.
I am pretty good at compartmentalizing, though you might not know it from these posts. But they help take the edge off and I often forget about whatever was bothering me until I need to focus on it.
That is good because I have a very active imagination and I am adept at using the net to find information.
So now that I have given five more vials I get to wait until they call to share their findings. It is nothing until it is something.
Things To Do
In a couple of weeks it will be 23 years since my buddy David died.
He is buried in a cemetery in Los Angeles not far from Lorne Greene, a sports writer that was known as Mud and my Great Grandfather Benjamin Wilner.
Haven’t visited David in a long time but he played a big enough role in my life that it is not uncommon for me think about him.
Seems impossible that he never knew me as a father and that he never got the chance to be one.
Thought about a conversation we had in which we listed some of the important things we had to do and how hard we’d try to get them done.
I wasn’t smart enough to realize he had a pretty good idea he wasn’t going to get years to do those and that much of what he said was about that.
Can’t screw a old head on young shoulders, but my shoulders are no longer so young and my to do list is still long.
Thought about it while I wondered if this is anything serious and if it will affect my approach to the pandemic.
I have always taken it seriously but I never worried about it killing me. Had more concerns about being one of the long haulers and what that might look like.
It will be better for everyone if I can take care of myself at 90, let alone the years before.
After a day like today I ask the hard question about how many lives we get and what do we do with those opportunities.
Not the first guy to ask and won’t be the last either.
Not going to buy trouble that I don’t have or worry unless and until I have to but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t tell that old bag of bones to stay far away from me.
Got more than enough left to hold the door and make any who try to cross the bridge regret it.
Would be more than happy to learn this is nothing and the puffery and bravado in this post was only necessary to make it more interesting.
What a long strange trip it has been.