A Question Of Need Versus Want

Perception is a funny thing. In a different life a girl once put her hands on her hips and told me I wouldn’t want her when we were in our fifties.

“You’ll be looking at 30 year-old women who are much too young for you, but you’ll look because you will.”

I remember being angry because I hate people telling me what to think or what to do and I don’t like people making predictions about me they can’t possibly back up.

“You don’t know who I’ll be then and if I love you why wouldn’t I still.”

As a man in my fifties looking backwards and forwards I find it sort of humorous as I really wasn’t sure then how I would feel about someone who was 50, let alone older because that sounded ancient.

Sitting here listening to Sweet Child of Mine it’s funny how perspectives evolve.

Had a conversation with a single friend not long ago about what age range he looks at and we laughed because if your our age and have older siblings you might have nieces/nephews who are 30-somethings.

And they look/sound young, especially if you have kids who are closer in age to them than you are.

Life experience counts for something.

A Question Of Need Versus Want

As middle age approaches it has become more important to me to think about need versus want in a way that is different than it once was.

There isn’t as much runway as there once was and the burning questions that haven’t been left behind, answered or otherwise adjusted require answers.

In certain cases I need them as much as want and am pursuing them with vigor.

That is part of why I write some of them down–accountability and clarity.

Putting them upon paper makes them real in ways that don’t last if I do nothing but let them pinball throughout my head.

Been a hell of a run the last few years and every time I think I have it almost figured out something happens that proves I am not quite there but maybe not so far away.

Woke up two hours before the alarm was supposed to go off this morning because there were things I couldn’t compartmentalize.

And just when I thought it was going to go sideways because I couldn’t maintain my grip I found a way.

Don’t ask me how because hell if I know, it just did and that is proof to me that anything is possible.

Yeah, I know that doesn’t make sense and even if you know where else to go you won’t find answers to that one but that is ok.

A man doesn’t share all of his thoughts. 😉

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Going to wrap this up with another run at Angie because it fits my mood and I appreciate how this song can be interpreted in fifteen ways.

But I am also going to share a piece of The Bearable Heaviness of Being (Alone) that caught my eye.

It’s worth reading the whole piece, but this jumped out at me and I’ll share a comment right after it.

But when it comes to “End the Occupation,” they feel no responsibility to think. They actually have no idea how to do it without Israelis being put directly in harm’s way, without any idea how to guarantee that Israel’s pulling out of certain territories would actually end the conflict. As we noted, Hamas would likely have won the elections on the West Bank. And Hamas is committed to Israel’s destruction (see Article Eleven of the Hamas Charter).

So, “End the Occupation” how exactly? That’s the question millions of Israelis wish they could answer.

That’s the first test that the ice cream folks failed. They jumped on the progressive bandwagon about “occupation” without a clue as to what they were advocating, without a moment’s thought as to what the sloganeering might mean for our children and grandchildren, who when we tuck them in at night, trust us to keep them safe.

One of those aforementioned 30 somethings came to me for advice about a work challenge and I offered simple advice that has been shared 8 bazillion times.

“Your boss is hit with 10,00 problems every day. If you want to distinguish yourself and potentially effect change bring him/her a solution to the problem you are discussing.

It will help portray you as a problem solver and not a whiner. It is a way to help build and secure credibility.”

Perception may not be reality but damn if it doesn’t impact it huh.