To My Number One Fan…Again

The people ask who the number one fan is and whether I can share more insight. So I tell them to try listening to one of the songs below but only if they recognize they may be shocked by something rude or moved by something sweet.

Hell, it could be something in between it all and then again what one considers rude another considers sexy.

Make what you will of it, a hat, a plane, a promise, a threat or none of the above. I may be the painter splashing colors on the canvas but I can’t make you do or feel anything.

Can’t take your hand or push you away without someone acting as the partner, foil, villain or protagonist.

Can’t do anything other than say I know everything and I know nothing because life is a giant contradiction of tremendous heartache and tremendous heart warming moments with anything and everything in between.

Ain’t that a hoot.

Calm Waters

Hell, the people who push for answers and ask for explanations haven’t figured out yet what they seek won’t be revealed upon command.

Very few of us can call down the thunder and usually only under very specific circumstances.

Cue music

I keep saying seek that and who which soothes your soul. Find the person you can rant with and too knowing they accept your crazy just as you accept theirs.

And if you can’t figure that out because you choose to close your eyes and place your fingers in your ears understand there are time frames and time lines for everything.

What once was destined may not be forever or maybe it always is and you simply have forced it to take a different path.

No one knows the answers for certain, though they may think they do.

And maybe they are right or maybe they are just another idiot pushing psych babble, new age nonsense.

Beats me.

I search for the calm waters knowing the storm will find me or I will find it. Maybe both.

Pulling Teeth

Got an appointment to see Dr. Pull Tooth to see if my tiny black heart has caused my teeth to rot. Don’t really expect it but heck, the LA Pull Tooth screwed something up in my mouth and it has cost more than a couple of bucks.

It looks like they are going to have to stick a Texas sized pliers in my mouth and remove the shoddy work of the prior. This thrills me to no end as I’ll be able to ask the local guy if I get to drive the Porsche I helped pay for and or join him at the beach house.

Got one other follow up appointment from the physical to schedule and an opportunity to ask another if he wants me to get a story tattooed on my nether regions for my next colonoscopy.

Some say that is TMI but I tell them if it is damn funny to me to put together a Burma Shave series or some Pirates of the Carribean set up down there.

Hell, I am tempted to put up something that says end of road is near or that your GPS is clearly broken.

Reminds me of the last time Dad had a colonoscopy and endoscopy scheduled and I asked if the docs had plans to meet in the middle to shake hands.

The old man didn’t appreciate it and told me I needed a prostate exam from a doc with hands at least my size if not significantly bigger.

I’ll spare you the sordid details of where that conversation went afterwards because it got dark. Anyhoo, I offered to give Dad a card wishing his Docs “Happy Spelunking” and he shook his head and asked what happened.

“You and mom both dropped me on my head.”

That is true, they both did.

Look at me now, still crazy after all these years.

Epilogue

Time to throw on some specific music and prepare myself to hit the treadmill and see if Mare can solve the crime.

Got to tell you I like Carmen but sometimes it makes me think of a scene or two in A Night At the Opera, different opera than Carmen but for whatever reason I associate them.

Anyhoo, exercise and Mare of Easttown call so I’ll leave you with a song in your heart or at least one on the ‘puter and a promise that I have written 10,983 words.

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By Joshua Wilner

Hi, I am Josh Wilner and I am happy that you have decided to visit my corner of cyberspace. I am a writer/marketer/friend and family man. My professional background includes more than twenty years in working with businesses to help them do a better job of connecting with their existing and prospective customers. More specifically I have worked with companies of all sizes from the Fortune 500 to the new start up to help them build, develop and grow their social media and marketing plans. I love spending time with my family and friends. I enjoy music, reading, writing, playing sports and laughing.

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