You’re Almost Bullet Proof

Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he’s dead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he’s just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
Duck Soup 1933

I am in a particular kind of mood and have responded to to calls about renewing my car warranty with Edmund Fitzgerald lyrics and can tell you people get confused if you say you left fully loaded for Cleveland.

Work colleague asked if I have had both shots and when I nodded in affirmation said “you’re almost bullet proof.”

I nodded, smiled and said not to try shooting me through the webcam.

“I don’t want to be responsible for you having to replace your laptop, but seriously though it is a big relief. You don’t realize how much weight you have been carrying while waiting for it. Not a perfect solution, but it is an improvement.”

I didn’t tell him that I feel a bit like like I remember feeling second semester of senior year of high school.

A fifty something year-old man with senioritis who is grinding out the last few days or decades, who can tell.

What I know is once I got pricked the second time I exhaled deeply and began to recognize how much of life has been put on hold and how much time I have invested in trying to weigh this action versus that and worried about family and friends.

Know more than a few people who have had Covid and some that have died.

Where Do I Belong?

Had more than a few minutes to engage in a little soul searching as have more than a few people I know and have come to certain conclusions.

Where do I belong is a question that not everyone has to ask but if you do I hope that you are honest with yourself about the answers.

Some of those might not be comfortable or what you would expect them to be but there is a difference between existing and living.

Might not matter to some, but it does to me. The idea of just existing is anathema to me. Life is too damn hard and too damn long to just exist so if I am going to be expected to stick around I might as well live.

So should you.

If you take that as me speaking me to you that is probably accurate because I probably am.

Know that if I really want to be certain you know what I am thinking and that I have been heard I will say so in a way that cannot be misunderstood, probably in person or by phone.

And if that is not possible and I still feel a need I’ll write something but that is less likely unless I am confident it will be read. Irks me to put the important stuff out there and not have it seen.

And with that, Keb and I bid you goodnight.