There was a rumor I once heard about something Johnny said to June when they were around middle age. Something about how he liked feeding her his secret sauce because he knew it made her happy and he liked her smile.
“That is a bold move John. Do you have more to share?”
“I can make some more for you.”
“No, I meant what else do you have to say?”
“You know where to find it. Not going to make it that easy for you.”
Of course, I am just paraphrasing, pulling at a memory string trying to bring it back to the surface to see how closely it resembles reality.
Could always just Google it and see if that provides proof but what fun is it to try to introduce fact and reality into life.
Oiling The Windows
Surprised I haven’t pulled out the bottle to pour myself a drink or 17 after the day I had. Surprised I haven’t seen my head coming flying off of my neck because I gave some things all I had and it is not clear if it is enough.
Heck, it looks more like it won’t be and that is a bitter pill to swallow but I am not known for rolling onto my back and letting life have its way with me so it is unlikely you’ll see me like that.
More likely to see me manhandle the situation than the converse. More likely to see me stare at a beard that suddenly has flecks of white and gray in it and wonder where those come from.
More likely to ask what causes the aches and see if I can’t find a way to add some lube to the joints and or stretch muscles that haven’t been worked as they ought to be.
Might have to follow Marvin’s advice and look for a little healing.
Might have to make some noise and do that thing I do cuz suckers wait for life to come to them.
The Treadmill
It is almost time to climb onto the treadmill though I really don’t feel like it because I can’t allow myself to slide any farther than I have.
Have to test my limits and the only way to do so is to get on the damn machine and start pushing, even thought it is hard.
Hard because I know what I once was and could do and sometimes it is disheartening to see how much effort is put in to try to get close but there is something else there.
The satisfaction that comes from seeing progress even if it is slower than I wish it to be. I value it far more than I did when it was so easily accomplished.
It is the way of many things, disappointing as that may be but quite human.
I know things. I hear the bells and feel the changes. I see the clouds clearing and so I go looking to walk the damn line again because the senseless and ridiculous make sense in ways few understand.
And that is enough to light the fire.
