That Woman Still Loves You Conspiracy

She is 16 going on 30 and more like her father than she cares to admit.

“Abba, are you hot?”

“Some women still think so.”

She rolls her eyes, makes some kind of scoffing noise and tells me I am being ridiculous.

“Not everyone still loves you. You’re a giant pain.”

I flash her a smile and say she is lucky.

“Why?”

“Because that is the look that has melted more than one heart.”

“Omg dad, you are terrible.”

I laugh and tell her she is right.

“Believe me, there are a few that still think about me in ways you don’t want to know.”

As she plugs her ears and takes off I remind her to never try and tease the master.

“I know every trick you know and a bunch I never taught you. Ask your aunts, they’ll tell you.”

Her older brother enters the room and asks what is up and I say I was teaching his sister about the “That woman still loves you conspiracy.”

“Sounds like that woman might be mentally ill.”

I nod my head and say yeah, might be a monkey. Might be crazy like a fox and did you want me to explain the theory.”

“No dad, I don’t have three hours.”

The Cult Of Personality

It is mid day and I am in the midst of a short break when the phone rings and an old friend tells me we can talk but not about politics.

“Yeah, you won’t like it when I remind you that you’re guy is the head of a death cult and at best a demagogue in a cult of personality.

The party of conspiracy theory and ridiculous ideas in which you ask us to believe that somehow you gained seats and did better in multiple areas except for the presidency.

You know that you are part of a group of people who have helped me understand how the Holocaust and Salem Witch trials happened.”

They tell me they don’t want to have that discussion and I say ok but only because I have said my piece and figure if they really are reasonable it might be enough daylight to wake them up.

Not as optimistic as I would like to be, but who knows. I already made it clear where I stand and now I have to give them room to come out of the corner they are painted into.

I pray it happens, but fuck if I know. Far too many people have bought into the lies and duplicity of the wannabe mobster in the White House.

He is going to be out of there, of this I am certain but I question what kind of chaos we’ll have to go through to get there.

Still I am confident it will happen for reasons I can lay out but will outline today only as I know things.

Tell Me Something

It is about 45 minutes into an interview and I am asked to share something not work related that is related to the position.

“I know a very independent woman who was determined not to be dependent upon a man for career or happiness. She told me she trusted me to carry her in my arms and believed me when I said no could protect her like I could.”

The interviewer cocked their head to the side and said they weren’t looking for anything personal or intimate.

“I didn’t share anything I am worried about putting out there. You have no name to go by, time frame or physical characteristics.

She could be short or tall. Have long dark hair or short.  Dark eyes or blue. Could be anyone as far as you know.”

“But she is not just anyone.”

“No, but the point of this is you want someone who knows how to build trust, make people feel secure and who brings presence.

I do those things, but not with everyone. Some don’t see it. Some don’t feel or understand it. But when it clicks, it is its own world with a garden people want to spend time in.”

A pause and a deep breath followed by a head cocked to the side while I stayed silent.

Almost a full minute went by before they asked me if that bullshit worked.

“You’re ready to shake hands and take the next step. You haven’t processed that I took over here and made you show your hand.

I can’t do that with everyone. Some people love me, some people like me and some really dislike me.

I bring a certain intensity, I am an unconventional freight train. I work hard. I adapt, pivot and adjust. I promise you’ll see success and that I will make you scratch your head because I’ll question the busy work and narishkeit. But it will balance out because I’ll have more success than failure and we’ll grow together.”

https://youtu.be/g58pbxh_Exg

What If There Is a War?

The question sits there for a moment and then comes the answer.

“If they want us to fight things have really gone to hell. Fifty something year old men aren’t cannon fodder like dumb kids.

We think, We question and then we act. That is the theory.”

“Ok, fine, but what if there is a war and we have to fight?”

“What if there is an earthquake, riots or a fire? You deal with whatever comes and manage it as best you can.”

“Those are different. Those things happen. Wars don’t just happen.”

“In concept no, but neither do earthquakes, riots and fires. I have been evacuated from a forest fire. I have been through earthquakes that cause massive destruction and I have been through riots.

Sometimes things happen. You deal with them as best you can and that is how it goes. If you want to take it a step further you can build earthquake kits or war kits. Hell, you can just build kits that help ensure you have things that you will need.”

There is a moment of silence followed by a deep sigh and a “how can you sound so confident?”

“I am no different than anyone else. I have lived a life and had a couple of experiences. My parents taught me to figure shit out, so that is what I do.

If you want I can teach you the that woman still loves you conspiracy theory.”

“No sir, you can bullshit way too easily.”

“Blame my grandfathers, those men knew how to tell a story.”