There is a sense of uncertainty and foreboding that is beginning to take shape and gather form in the darkness. If I didn’t feel it before I do now because more than a few have reached out to me to ask what I think will happen and or to share a comment.
Were we together we might pass a bottle around for some require some liquid courage and others gather enough support from community.
I can almost hear a few recites the Night’s Watch and a pledge to hold the gate.
Hear my words and bear witness to my vow. Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am … the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.
It is easier to slip into the fantasy world of favorite stories and movies than to focus on the importance of the election because one is far too real.
If you believe some we are a fallen empire whose best days are behind us and who is rapidly heading into the darkness.
I am not prepared to go there and it is not because I cannot handle reality because I have been in darker places than most of you know.
I have seen my demons walk in daylight when I was so awake and so sober I couldn’t pretend they were bad dreams.
When you have done that and come out the other side it provides a particular and specific strength or it leaves you broken.
There isn’t much in between.
I think we’re broken and beaten down but not past the point of no return.
But we won’t go back to who and what we were, we’ll be different. The only question is whether the difference is built upon a foundation that attempts to repair, restore and build anew or if we let the balrogs pull us under.
You Can’t Tell Me How I Feel
I don’t know whether I ought to tell you about baring my soul and not getting a response or if I should spend more time weaving the tapestry of thoughts and ideas about the future.
Jumped on treadmill and set a pace for a 6 minute mile and laughed at myself because I haven’t the endurance to keep it up.
Haven’t in years.
Slowed it down to 7 minutes and laughed again because I can’t keep that up anymore either.
Kind of frustrating because for a 50 something year-old man I am pretty damn fast for short bursts and it hurts my ego a bit to acknowledge how much I have lost.
I can get part of it back, I suspect I can get back to a 7 minute mile but the likelihood of it is reduced because my ego wants it more than my desire to train for that. Just don’t like running that much, though I don’t sprints and the kind of give and go for basketball, baseball and football.
Though if I found the right group of guys I could see myself pushing it to be superior soccer player–that competitive spirit never really goes huh.
*****
Anyhoo, they say record numbers of us have already voted and so I am curious to find out how many more are going to the polls tomorrow.
Curious to see how it all plays out and see where it leads because the hardest part of this moment is the anticipation of what could happen.
The uncertainty of what might be and possibilities of outcomes tied into both candidates.
Trump has been an unmitigated disaster and the fear is that a second term will be worse because there are fewer restrictions upon him.
It is hard to believe we’ll see a kinder, gentler man because there has been no indication such a man exists.
As for Joe, well I am certain he cares and he will try hard to a president for all people but trying is different from saying he will be successful.
I wish him great success because we need it and it can only help. I wish him to get help from voters blowing out enough of the bad senators who are likely to obstruct him, but we can’t know if that will happen unless it does.
We can’t know what life will be like under a President Biden unless he wins.
He might not and we might see a different situation. I am doing my best not to put too much into any outcome yet and to take it as it comes.
Take A Deep Breath
When I was little dad told me I wasn’t allowed to take the first punch but that if someone hit me I was to hit them back much harder.
Somewhere in my thirties I learned that was his elementary school advice. He and I were watching something where we saw some guy get cornered and dad said something about the guy should have smacked the one of the other guys.
“What happened to let the other guy hit you first?”
“That is great for a seven-year-old but in the real world you need to be smart.”
We went back and forth for a moment and then he told me to try to avoid that kind of trouble and that if I got caught to be careful not to get hurt or killed.
There is far more than that to the story, but it isn’t relevant.
Instead focus upon his instructions to take a deep breath, measure the situation, be aware and be smart about whatever action we choose to take or not take.
We’re in a chess game now and it is worth considering what move(s) to make so that is what I am going to do.
Smart, measured and sensible is the rule of the moment and maybe for the near future,
Game on.
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