I don’t know what flipped the switch but today I remembered my North Star and thought hard about running down a dream.
Thought about how crazy life can be and all of the twist and turns and then felt that ache in a way I haven’t noticed in a long time, not like this.
Reminded me of a moment seven years ago when I was flying back from LA and knew that plane was taking too long.
There were things to do, conversations to be had and damn, it felt like I was choking.
Some of you are going to find out soon what I really think and feel about some things because I am done not speaking about the things that make my head feel like it is about to explode.
I have about reached that place where I haven’t any concern about consequences because not doing more is literally tearing me up.
Things simply cannot continue without change because my body can’t take it anymore and I can’t continue to see the deterioration that I know comes from stress.
There is a line and a place that we reach where we must take action to protect ourselves. Since there is no one else to look out for me than myself I need to remember my obligation to not let things reach a place of heart attack or stroke.
We do what we can to manage and mitigate and then we reach what is required and though it may be painful it must be handled and cannot be ignored.
I suppose you could say Burn Down Your Own House is/was tied into this too.
Maybe it is all part of Running Down A Dream. Maybe you have to fight a few battles to get to that place where you can stand and rest.
Hell, I scheduled a week of vacation and have already found out I am not going to be able to clock out and tune out the way I planned to.
Unless I figure something out tomorrow it is going to be slightly different than I had hoped it would be but maybe that is part of it all.
Maybe this is what you have to do to get to the other side so that you can gain that place and peace of mind.
Maybe.
