Johnny Writes A Story

Dude looks at me and asks if I want to tell him what I am thinking.

“Johnny writes a story.”

“Excuse me, that doesn’t make sense.”

I smile and tell him it is a professional challenge.

“Are you a musician? Is that the name of your band?”

“Nope, not a musician. If you catch me singing you probably won’t say I sound good, but you’ll say I was loud.”

Dude smiles back at me and asks if I am some kind of storyteller and says Hollywood is west of me.

“Yeah, I came from there.”

“Don’t California my Texas.”

Now I laugh and tell him I’d hate to see him get a real education.

“Yeah, that is why your state is filled with illegals.”

I pull out my Texas driver’s license and ask him if I ought to call La Migra.

“I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”

“I know, I speak three languages and you speak moron. Now beat it before I cough on you. Johnny has a story to write and you’re going to be a featured player.”

The Bald Guy Speaks

Shaved my head again even though mom doesn’t like it. Sorry mom, of all the people in the world you know best that I have a habit of following my own counsel.

Truth is I don’t think I’ll do this once the barbershops open up because my guy will be around to keep my head and beard in check.

But since he isn’t available now it is easier to shave it every couple of weeks. My hair grows as fast as it ever did everywhere the front portion of the top of my melon.

Sides and back are full, but since it doesn’t fill in as it once did on top I like to keep it tight. Hell, if I could I’d still for the old flat top or brush cut, but it doesn’t.

Anyhoo, I managed to cut my head last week but not from shaving it. Misjudged something and smacked into a metal corner.

It broke and so did part of me.

Thought it had more or less healed and discovered it didn’t so I had a bloody mix hair and shaving cream earlier…would have been a great look for Halloween.

That wasn’t so bad, what irked me was feeling the energy drain out of me midway through the shave.

Guess the five miles I put in just before caught up with me, so I sat down on the toilet seat and told my reflection to suck it up.

“If you fall face first you’ll give yourself a fat lip and you’ll have to tell a story about how beat up the rednecks from Arkansas, the mid cities and a dolt from Bowling Green. People will begin to worry about you.”

The reflection repeated my words back at me and added something else which made me wonder if maybe I had accidentally filled my water glass with Vodka.

It was possible, weird shit happens to me.

When The Train Is Derailed

I hadn’t planned on using that ELO song but I got distracted and forgot I had intended to use this one so I just pivoted.

Hung out with a bunch of old friends again on Zoom and alternated between being happy to see them all and irritation because it is a terrible way to hold a conversation.

You can’t all talk at once and there is this conversation that moves back and forth with a bunch of “what did you say,” “can you repeat that” and awkward silences while people try to politely give others a chance to speak.

Think I would like them better if there were fewer people because you can have a conversation instead of a struggle to communicate.

Still I enjoyed seeing everyone and would show up again because when you have 40 years of friendship you do that kind of shit.

But I’ll probably reach out to a few people and suggest that if they want to know what is going on it is easier to do some one-on-one stuff.

****

Was one hell of a long week punctuated by a few highlights but I think I am ready for Monday or maybe I should say I hope I am because it is coming whether I am or not.

Did some prep work for it just to be safe and realized how much I accomplished and yet how much just didn’t get done.

So tomorrow I am going to take both hands and grab Monday by the head and tell it I want a pizookie, Jeremiah Red and two hours of quiet so that I can focus on reading blueprints and writing plans.

Keep your fingers crossed and strap on or in because the train is coming through and there will be no stopping it or so I hope.

Got way too much to do, but if fortune smiles upon me I just might get it done.

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By Joshua Wilner

Hi, I am Josh Wilner and I am happy that you have decided to visit my corner of cyberspace. I am a writer/marketer/friend and family man. My professional background includes more than twenty years in working with businesses to help them do a better job of connecting with their existing and prospective customers. More specifically I have worked with companies of all sizes from the Fortune 500 to the new start up to help them build, develop and grow their social media and marketing plans. I love spending time with my family and friends. I enjoy music, reading, writing, playing sports and laughing.

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