Some people say and some people play Love Is Alive as they pass the hours away at jobs they no longer find fulfilling and then there are people like me.
People who are in the midst of their first week at new gigs trying to absorb all the information that is being squeezed into their ear by the information bottle of toothpaste.
And as they try process and place it they mutter out loud words that are misheard and snort because they know how ridiculous it sounds.
I have to remind myself that is ok to feel overwhelmed and a bit frustrated that it is taking time to learn the ins and outs.
Have to look at my reflection and say “Be kind” because no one else would be given license to speak in this manner and to be grateful for being set up for success when it hasn’t happened in the past.
Through the magic of modern technology I spoke with family members who are on a cruise and felt a tug that I haven’t heard from in a while.
I could smell the ocean, hear all of the sounds I associate with it and wanted to go out to Malibu to hit the water and maybe drive down P.C.H. but couldn’t.
We’re landlocked in this part of Texas and sometimes that is hard. Lakes, even the ‘great’ ones are not the sea and we have no ‘great’ here.
Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate being near or on the local waterfront but it is not the same.
Fortunately it appears that I’ll get to change some of that soon and be where I can get to a real beach. Get to where even if it is cold I can still sit on the shore, close my eyes and listen.
And it makes me wonder who I know that has a boat large enough to sleep upon and if maybe there is an opportunity to do so.
Sometimes the rocking back and forth relaxes me like few thing do. Sometimes I think about the conversations I haven’t had with some people and make a mental note to mention such things.
To discuss rocking back and forth and how the right rhythm can move you to places you might not otherwise get.
Life is meant to be lived and experienced, not just passed through.
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Band On The Run is playing and I am reading an email about how men over 40 should focus on weight training.
Can’t decide if I should be excited or remain ambivalent that I according to this piece I am doing most things correctly.
Got one or two that I need to adjust and those are what you can call active choices and persistence which is a poor euphemism for saying the diet needs regular monitoring and maintenance.
It is a funny thing to me because in some areas I am more focused and relentless than most. It is not to hard to keep up the intensity and then there are are the others.
Got a few things going on that feel a little bit like I am walking a tight rope. Got a little wind blowing and some bounce in the rope that is making it worse, but I am pushing forward.
Part of me wants to go back stick where I can feel ground beneath my feet and stick with the comfort but I keep beating that guy with a stick.
Because if I really know things and if I really want to mix it up and change it I have to push forward.
Have to go hard and say the hell with it because I might make it just as easily as I might not.
Hell, if I have accomplished as much as this list I made says I have there isn’t reason not to push forward because not only am I due, I have set the groundwork up perfectly.
The time is now so I am embracing the mystery and walking into the dark. I’ll say excuse me now for stepping on your toes or poking you because it is dark in here.
What a day. What a time.
