“I hope I never kiss you again because this was awful.”
For a moment I stood their in silence and then I said it again.”
“Never again shall you feel the touch of my lips…I hope.”
I meant every word and then I realized there were other people around and I walked away with my eyes down and one hand rubbing my lips.
There are few times I can remember being as self conscious as I was there, but it is not every day you slam face first into a glass door and there is no way to be cool as you walk away.
Not that I am cool, you wouldn’t describe me as that and I am ok with it…now.
Not so sure I was when I was younger but I wasn’t really hung up on it either.
My big moment with the glass door was momentarily remembered today because I came across a picture of me and the fat lip I got from it.
Botox should work as well as running into glass door because you end up with the kind of lip that you imagine people want or so I imagine.
Sometimes I wonder if that door left the experience hearing this song and if would be jealous of the girl who kissed me first but claims the opposite.
It is a silly question but trust me if you hit a door with your face as hard as I hit that one you learn many things:
- You may be less graceful and clumsier than you thought.
- You pack a real wallop.
- You can still take a hell of a shot to the head.
I am not sure any of these are particularly useful to most of you, if any. But what I do know is that amid the self deprecating humor is truth.
One such truth is I do not like the way I look in most pictures any more. That is a peculiar thing because I never used to care.
There were good shots and bad ones, but I never cared much, probably because I was comfortable with the way I looked in most.
That is not the case now and some of it is outside my control so I have to just suck it up and deal with it or never take photos.
For the moment I take succor in the knowledge the door will never get to find out whether there is truth in Brother Pablo’s quote. 🙂
Sometimes you have to say no and make them ask…right.
****
Anyhoo, I have been working on writing and have been focused on putting some things down online and upon paper that are significant and meaningful.
Been trying to go the extra step and produce something more than the usual fluff but it is hard to tell when you are so close to the matter.
Not to mention so much of writing is subjective so the things I hate/love are often seen differently by others.
In some ways it doesn’t make much of a difference and in others, well it makes a big one.
This is really what I ought to be doing. This is where even when I struggle I find sense and float.
Been thinking again about some of what Mr. King has said and though I can link to much of it there are several I am focused upon now.
You want to know?
Read these and know there are others but understand I hear my own song…always and I never completely ignore it.
Eventually I will zig zag my way towards it.
