An almost middle aged man doesn’t ignores the discomfort and pushes forward convinced by the old saw that pain is weakness leaving the body.
There is a sharp twinge that almost makes him pull back, but anger pushes him forward. Just a little bit farther, just a few more reps and it will be time to rest.
There is a price for growing older and part of it means you have to work harder to get the same results you once got.
Four hours earlier the almost middle fella put in two hours reviewing his current 401K portfolio and signing up the 2019 benefit package.
As usual the current plan has been tweaked, modified and adjusted for the 2019 year in ways that make it more challenging to determine if you are going to pay more for less or get exactly what you pay for.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
The calls come in asking if I know who I intend to vote for and if I know where my polls are located.
I tell them I already voted and am not sure if I am going of the festivities Tuesday night. Do I want to go drop some cash to hang out at Dave & Busters or some other restaurant with people who might be ecstatic or heartbroken based upon the results.
Maybe, maybe not.
The guy who brought a 3-year-old to Bohemian Rhapsody caught my ire.
I felt badly for the kid because it isn’t his fault that his dad lacks courtesy and wasn’t smart enough to not bring him to the movie.
Nor was I going to remain silent when the aforementioned kid started getting noisy which is why I gave the super shush.
*****
Had a conversation with someone about the importance of follow through and why I always pay more attention to what people do than what they say.
People say lots of things, they promise lots of things too but when they don’t come through I almost always notice.
And even if I don’t notice at the time eventually recognition comes and it is always joined by acknowledging that if it took that long for me to notice it is an indication of the lack of importance/relevance of that person to my life.
You could say it is the Red Dress, Blue Dress axiom but we’ll save that for a different day.
*****
Bohemian Rhapsody was great but part of the latter portion triggered me a bit. It was the moment where Freddie tells the band he is HIV+.
That reminded me of dad’s little brother who died from AIDS 24 years ago and led me to remember again that dad was the last of his immediate family.
Every one of them is gone now, three of them taken far too young
It part of why I am pushing hard in some areas because long life isn’t a given and even an almost middle aged man can be surprised with news that is less pleasant.
I Had A Dream
Woke up slightly disoriented and unsure of where I was and what year it was.
Heard a voice from the past or maybe echoes of the future talking to me and kept a poker face but laughed to myself for doing so.
Chuckled because if certain suspicions of mine are accurate a poker face is a useless tool and laughed again because if those suspicions are incorrect that same poker face is meaningless.
Don Henley is singing about The Boys of Summer and a million images are floating through my mind.
There are those associated with the song, the music and the lyrics and then there is the book by Roger Kahn which came forth both in real life and in my awareness.
I can still see it on the bookshelf in my parent’s office and still hear my grandfathers’ speak with me about the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Can still hear dad tell me how he remembered when the Dodgers moved to LA and still hear so much more.
The things I hear and the things I know, they float around inside the chamber between my ears.
****
Metal clinks and clanks and body parts start to threaten to fail to perform.
The parts and pieces are starting to protest in louder and more pronounced ways and I hear my inner Captain Kirk and Scotty yell at each other about more power.
There is a race now to see whether the reps will be completed prior to collapse and it is anyone’s bet about the outcome.
That Captain Kirk voice starts shouting that Navy Seals say you have 40 percent more when you think you’re done.
Scotty shouts does that apply to almost middle aged men who are stupid.
Kirks tell him to shut up and eat more Haggis and there is a loud pop.
“That can’t be good, can it.”
Running With The Moon
We’re running with the moon now, intentionally ignoring the voices that shout us.
Slipping the bonds of civility and concern we set out at a pace we cannot possibly maintain, even if the 40 percent rule is accurate.
There is no way to keep it up for long but there is no choice in the matter.
We haven’t figured out yet if we are running from or towards the demons but don’t care because we will roll with it.
If the hounds of hell catch us we’ll turn and make a stand and if we catch up to them we’ll make them sorry to have been caught.
We scan the November 4 Politico piece on Beto and wonder what it all means and whether we can trust anything any more.
This is one of the few distractions that slow us down but just for a moment and then we’re off again.
Can’t take time to worry about what happens if the results don’t go as we hope for because we have done what we could do.
Pushed, prodded and proclaimed and now all we can do is wait and see.
Now we sit in a room and wait for a call, hoping that we can pop it all back into place.
Time will tell.
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