I am listening to this song and thinking about a story about souls I once knew while wondering if others have forgotten it.
Something about it reminds me of watching Halley’s Comet when I was 17 and the conversations we had about once in a life time experiences.
We stood on the hill using a telescope a dear friend had borrowed and talked about how long it would take before we would see it again and sprinkled in discussion about the time it would take for other things.
Such as how long it might take for man to travel from Earth to other planets and whether there would ever come a time when you could travel from galaxy to galaxy the way we do via planes.
It is too bad Dave is not here to have that conversation now because there would be so much more depth to it, but come August it will be 20 years since he took the celestial hall pass and walked out of the room.
“Dave’s not here man.”
He’d be the first to say it and might even laugh the hardest, but he is not here so I’ll do it for him.
Be Like A Wolf
There is a moment where we surprise each other in the kitchen. Somewhere between 1 and 3 AM we end up there, each wondering why the other is awake.
“Dad, why are you up?”
“That is my question to you. It is not unusual to find me up at all hours.”
I don’t tell him I know his sleep schedule is off and that I have seen his light on at hours when it shouldn’t be on.
That is a conversation to be had, but not today.
Today we are talking about a variety of things but focused on what happens when you live alone and some of the changes that come with it.
We’re talking about goodbyes and friends who say they would never go away but do so any how.
“I learned how to let go of most people. Learned how to be more of lone wolf, but most of that was by choice. You don’t have to go that route. I still have people who I trust implicitly. People who will pick up the phone if I call.
You need to hold on to those people. It is better to have a few good friends than many so-so ones.”
He nods his head, he has heard this from me before.
I don’t tell him that sometimes I wonder if I spent too much time living alone because there are moments where things that never used to bother me make me want to scream.
Might not be anything but a blip on the life screen, might be something else.
Hard to say, had too many other pressing issues to focus upon it.
More Changes & Choices
We’re almost through hump day during one hell of a week and it is clear to me this is one of those moments that is going to have a real impact on life.
Not because my mother was released from the hospital or because my nephew is supposed to get out tomorrow but because of a conversation from yesterday.
That doesn’t mean their health isn’t of paramount importance because it is but my ability to help them is limited.
Distance doesn’t matter, though I call myself a doctor of destiny I am not a medical doctor so I had no way to do more than offer support.
But that conversation, well that was different.
That was a moment where I thought about asking someone to watch Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about how to use your mind.
A moment in which I thoughtfully, intentionally and purposefully pushed for some things.
I won’t know for a while where it will lead. Won’t know if I made someone want to describe in colorful terms that aren’t complimentary or otherwise.
All I know is I walked away hoping that I am correct in believing I was successful.
It would suck to be wrong, but the reward for being right is pretty nice.
You Have a Lot of Soul Or is It Sole
Had a busy day in Dallas, moving from the Fairmont to the Statler to Dealey Plaza and the Omni.
Eight million meetings and 10 million thoughts about the people you see on the streets and the ghosts of others as you move on past.
I first walked by some of these places when I wasn’t even 25 not knowing that in my thirties I would look into jobs nearby and certainly never expected it would happen in my forties.
Life is funny and if I have learned anything it is that it is unpredictable. We have hopes and dreams, some which evolve and others which stay with us through time.
What you don’t know is which of those hopes and dream move from fantasy into reality and how long it might take for those things to happen.
Maybe they come like light from a distant star and it really is a matter of time or maybe it has nothing to do with time and is nothing more than blind luck.
They say Halley’s Comet will visit again in 2061.
I’ll be 92 and maybe I’ll have answers to some of these questions or maybe I’ll have none and a lot more questions.
Maybe I’ll watch with grandchildren or even great-grandchildren.
They’ll get to hear grandpa talk about a time when he was young and the future seemed unlimited, or maybe not.
