I wasn’t dumb enough to believe the beast had been so thoroughly defeated we wouldn’t have another encounter but I didn’t expect it to come back so soon or to hit so hard.
Nor did I expect to be sly and clever because this time it was wary in its approach, recognizing that if I spotted it I would come after it with full fury.
It took steps to protect itself and to lock me out but that bastard mistakes my blind rage for an inability to consider my actions.
And so begins the battle.
There Is No Dancing In This Fire
The flames burn brightly but there is a different sort of intensity with these so there is no dancing in them.
The other fire is nothing but a giant hole and ache, an itch that I can’t quite scratch but can almost reach. The other feels easier to manage because my gut says all will go as it should and I am cool with however that plays out.
These flames are different, needles that burn in places that are never supposed to feel fire. An intentional maiming and dislocation of bones all done with malice.
But that is how the beast works and what infuriates me the most is my inability to do more than I have done.
It is like holding water in the palm of your hand–you can squeeze as hard as you want but all that happens is it slips out of the sides and between your fingers.
Brute force won’t work, at least not of the sort I wish to use. Can’t beat it with my fists and feet or use a bat upon it to adjust its attitude.
I think I always knew this was going to require some enormous sacrifices and significant changes.
Burn it all down may be the final answer.
Feels Like 26
Thermostat says it is 34 degrees but my weather app says it feels like 26 with a 10 percent chance of snow.
Got brother Dylan singing Love Sick on my headphones and will probably move on to Bowie’s Heroes because it give me a bump and I am looking for any edge I can find.
Been listening to D-Day: June 6, 1944: The Climactic Battle of WW II and loving it.
It is a fantastic summary of D-Day and what happened and a reminder that the current challenges aren’t nearly as difficult as they could be.
Doesn’t mean the great battle with the beast isn’t hard or exceptionally painful but it does serve notice that some things that look impossible are better characterized as improbable.
No retreat, no surrender.
