There are days where I imagine I feel just like Julie Moss did in the Ironman.
The mind knows exactly what needs to happen but the body mutinies and you find yourself in the kind of unforgiving battle you’d rather not experience.
Three hours of sleep followed by more than 300 miles of driving and an unforgiving schedule afterwards can take their toll upon a man.
Driving myself forward one more step because I am driven to push myself to cover what others are unable to do.
Catch a 10 minute nap in the car followed by a giant mug of coffee and energy reappears…briefly.
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That Valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love- Christopher Marlowe
Another Notch On A Belt
I’d like to make like the shepherd in Old Mr. Marlowe’s poem but it doesn’t look possible today or tomorrow.
Or at least I think it probably doesn’t or isn’t.
It is hard to tell when you are too tired to go to sleep and your head is spinning. I tried grabbing ahold of the earth to demand it stop spinning but that didn’t work all that well either.
The good news is I had to tighten my belt another notch, but the bad news is I am referring to my bank account.
All hail the unexpected medical expense and the words of the compassionate among us who say healthcare is something we should pay for ourselves because we don’t want to pay for anyone else.
We don’t want to help support someone who might have a health condition they caused and to hell with anyone who has any serious need of help managing something they didn’t ask for.
My situation will work itself out because I will make it work or die trying.
That is the fighting American spirit we hear so much of. The same spirit that is exhibited by those who follow the lead of the “must have paid for his degree president.”
You know the crew that says if you are unemployed it is because you are lazy and that there is no excuse for being on the dole.
Forgive me for being cynical but many of those who tell me that only lazy people on the dole also tend to be on the dumb.
Ignorance isn’t their friend but they don’t seem to recognize that.
I am unreasonable or so some people have told me.
Their allegations, claims and descriptions of why vary in nature and in time but they do share some things in common.
Most of which is this idea that I ask them to do things they see as impossible but I see as challenging or difficult.
One time I told someone to kiss me and said “if you feel nothing than go live your life without me.”
They told me I watched too many movies and I said the reason some stories repeat in the movies is because there is truth in them.
One kiss might have changed nothing or it might have changed everything. It made me think of Vin Scully calling Gibson’s home run.
“In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened.”
Now that Vin is retired I wonder if he would consider acting like my own Greek chorus.
Hell, given the current circumstances in the country we ought to have our own national Greek chorus.
Thing is there will be no change without reasonable people adopting unreasonable stances.
Reminds me of something else.
There is a guy running for office here in Texas that sounds like he might have potential. I know one of his supporters quite well.
Well enough to say that their support means this candidate is probably worth trying to push into office.
I was prepared to learn more and potentially vote for him but it turns out I am a block outside of his potential district.
That made me think of Julie Moss, close enough to see the finish line but not able to finish standing up because the legs decide they don’t feel like working anymore.
I Know That Elephant
I know that elephant in the picture above.
He is a tired old bull who wants to have a little downtime and chill out.
Dude just wants some peace and quiet to sit around and not worry about a todo list or to have to race around.
I feel like that elephant and if I were him I’d use my tusks to make sure people understood it is time to let me be and enjoy the warmth of the sun upon my back.
Or I’d take my trunk and elephant slap them into a greater sense of understanding and awareness. But I am not an elephant and I can’t go slapping people around…but sometimes I sure want to.
Mostly I want to hang out somewhere warm with people who will my heart and soothe my soul. Not going to happen any time soon, but maybe sooner than I think.
Maybe being unreasonable is going to lead to some good changes and be the wind in the sails of my ship.
Or maybe not.
Maybe I’ll just make like Rip Van Winkle and sleep for a few decades.
Maybe I’ll wake up and find a new world and discover the hurdles are gone and opportunities abound but probably not.
Chances are I am going to have to work for those opportunities.
Sometimes you have to say WTF and take a chance. I better make a note to follow my own advice.
Or maybe I’ll write a story about a man who sounds like me but isn’t me and he can do all that I hope to do.
It is a an easy way to guarantee his success, but that could be kind of boring. Better give him some adversity, but first, better grab some shut eye for me.
Exhaustion is here. 🙂