Sometimes you write about lost lovers and underwear and sometimes you go a different direction.
Maybe it is because you spent four days moving from an apartment to a house and your not quite middle aged body gives you a middle finger and you give it right back.
Remember, I am the smart guy who used to bang my head on the ground and get pissed off because it hurt.
I was two and yeah, it was dumb but I own it. It is a part of a collection of dumb things I have dumb but it also helps to illustrate a certain willingness on my part to keep going forward through all kinds of stuff.
That might be the keystone in my arch of stubbornness and why when some people say I couldn’t handle a real winter I smile.
I can handle anything you give me, might not like it. Hell I might hate it, but I can handle it.
It is also part of why I wear some people out. Not everyone can handle crazy and intense. Love me or don’t.
Better Days
I have had better Father’s Days than this one. Truth is I didn’t enjoy this day much and I won’t mind seeing it fade into the distance.
My eyes hurt.
They ache.
I am not sure if I am having an allergic reaction or just got a double dose of Pink Eye but I know they hurt and I am not seeing things clearly.
It is not bad enough for me to want to go to the ER tonight, but if it is not much better in the morning I will go see someone.
This is ridiculous and I see no reason to gut it out any longer than needed. If things go well I’ll wake up in the morning and discover all is right again and chalk it up to faceful of dust.
Oh the joy of moving, especially when you make 10 dozen trips up and down three flights of stairs.
Good times, I tell you, good times.
****
I wasn’t going to write but the muse inside my head insisted and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to document this transition.
So I have Rod Stewart singing Young Turks and my mind is moving at warp speed.
Young Heart of mine, be free tonight and all nights, ideally with eyes that don’t ache.
****
Growing up in the San Fernando Valley prepared me for dealing with heat but the brutally honest truth is that by the fifth trip up and down the stairs had me sweating in a way that suggested much more physical effort than I had engaged in.
It also made me grumpy and frustrated because the last thing I wanted to do was spend four days moving, but sometimes that is how it goes.
I might have gotten some help if I had asked for it, but I was simply unwilling to do so and determined to prove I could do it on my own.
Which reminds me to not tell my mom I feel like I am dying because apparently she is starting to take comments like that seriously.
Not dying today mom, wasn’t dying yesterday and don’t expect to die tomorrow.
Hell, the buss could hit me and you know that it would hurt, but it wouldn’t kill me. We would both end up broken and I would get a nasty bill from the city.
Final Words
Sometimes I think life is random and sometimes I think there is something more.
I could have ended up with a job in a million different cities but I ended up with one in Texas..,twice.
Once a promotion and the other time something else, but both times tied into something more. Don’t ask me to tell you exactly what it is because I don’t know.
What I am certain of is that Texas is an important part of my life and that is why I am here. Maybe it is nothing but coincidence and maybe it is something else.
I don’t know and I won’t spend much time thinking about it, muse about it like this here and there maybe, but no real time and effort otherwise.
That is because I am here and so the reason doesn’t matter as much as taking advantage of an opportunity to do more for my kids.
It is the bottom line and what drives me.
Hopefully they’ll realize I did right by them sooner than later.
Don’t mistake that to mean they are complaining because there has been a little bit, but not a whole lot.
No, I want them to recognize why I did it because I want them to file it away as something you do when you are a parent.
If they choose to down that road, well they need to know what kind path they are going to set out on.
Got to run and see if sleep restores my eyes. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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