I mostly shaved my head today.
My family looked at pictures and told me they weren’t thrilled and I said too bad.
Give it two weeks the back and sides will be full of hair, but the front top won’t quite follow suit.
That is ok with me, I kind of like not having to worry about my hair and since I have no interest in taking pills it is time I got used to it.
That is the bald truth, kind of different than the naked truth.
The naked truth would be harsher and more inclined to statements like “I could drop dead it wouldn’t make a damn difference to a lot of people. Might be some crocodile tears by some and some real ones by others, but life would go on.
Sunshine & Rainbows
I hit the wall today.
Can’t tell you what happened to several hours because the effort of the recent past caught up with me. I think I might have fallen asleep, but I am not really sure. What I know is that I can’t account for a number of hours.
Can’t tell you what I did or didn’t do other than I spent the majority of the day working in my home office.
I suppose that is the good news. The time I can’t account for was spent at home.
Tomorrow will be much the same, packing and preparing for the move along with working on a video montage.
With a little luck tomorrow will feel more like sunshine and rainbows and less like a good time to look for a fight.
Yeah, I said it.
I feel like fighting.
I feel like taking off the gloves and pounding someone verbally and physically.
Don’t worry, it is not going to happen. I have full control of myself, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to scream and yell because I do.
Pent up frustration is spilling over and the dam is cracking.
But all will be fine, just going to be a little dicey for a while.
****
I got a few compliments about this piece and some encouragement to follow up on some of the things I talked about in it.
Maybe I will, not really sure.
Someone tried to work with me on a related project but didn’t do a good job of upholding their end so it never went anywhere.
This time it would have to be different.
Hell, I say that about a lot of things.
How Life Feels
Life feels like that dislocated finger.
Most of it is going ok but there are some key elements/players/components that aren’t quite working the way they should be.
I have tried to snap them back into place on my own, but haven’t been successful.
That is how it goes sometimes. You try and fail.
Sometimes you have to ask for help.
I prefer to try and fail than fail to try. I also prefer to feel like I can ask for help and count on it.
But I haven’t felt that way so I just haven’t done it.
Maybe it is worth the risk, but I have limited reserves and tolerance for some things so I have focused on doing crap myself because it is easier.
That will change and the time will come where things will be different, but it doesn’t look like we have reached that point yet.
I don’t know if I am waiting for a sign, looking for that North Star in the evening sky or what.
I just know I am.
And I know I have done my best, it is all I can do.
It either will or will not be good enough and that will have to do.
