The Joy Of Heartbreak

It is a Social Distortion kind of Monday night.

Listened to I Was Wrong, 99 To Life and am playing Ball and Chain now.

It is one of those songs that is made for singing along with, so pick up your glass and join in.

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I’m lonely and I’m tired
And I can’t take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain

Sit on the balcony and look out upon the remains of the day and pour another drink while the current song fades into Social D’s cover of Ring of Fire.

Softly sing along with it burns, burns, burns and laugh because you’re in a good mood and have managed to set aside the stress of the coming morning.

It wasn’t easy because it has potential to be unnecessarily difficult and there is not a damn thing more you can do.

That is the joy of heartbreak there, knowing you have done all you possibly can and it might not make a damn difference.

But then again, it might.

It might all swing your way and you’ll hear that heavenly chorus praise your efforts and you’ll know the numbers are being read the right way and the story you are singing is one that they sing along with.

Finding The Sunlight

It is not always easy to find those rays of light when darkness rains down upon you. It can be damn hard and you can find yourself asking why people can’t speak simple English.

Not because they are immigrants or foreigners but because they are natives. They understand all of the idioms and pop culture remarks you might make.

Yet you mention having watched Singles on cable and they make some crack about how they couldn’t relate or understand and you wonder what the hell is going on.

Is there really nothing about that movie that makes sense to them? Was their college experience and early twenties so different from yours there is no meeting in the middle?

Well maybe?

You have talked politics and know your votes were polar opposites and all you find reprehensible they hold dear and so you shake your head because your are contemporaries whose worlds are so damn different.

Different isn’t normally a bad thing, but in this case it might be.

In this case you’ll have to fight extra hard to find the sunlight to stay out of the darkness.

I Need Five More

I don’t need to be a hero, though I have volunteered to be one before.

Don’t need to be praised or lauded for doing ordinary acts and for trying to do the right thing any more than I need to be criticized for being human sometimes.

But I do need to find those extra five minutes Ralphie boy is talking about because there is a little fear and uncertainty whispering inside my head and attacking my heart.

Maybe I shouldn’t listen to God’s Gonna Cut You Down. Maybe I ought to switch to Ain’t No Grave.

Well, look way down the river, what do you think I see?
I see a band of angels and they’re coming after me
Ain’t no grave can hold my body down
There ain’t no grave can hold my body down

We’re off in the wilds running with the monsters from where the wild things are trying to be like Max and dance in the wild rumpus because we have been sailing in and out of weeks and years for longer than we can remember.

And somewhere during our run when we can’t figure out which way is up and grow tired of scraping the hell out of our arms and knees we it down, close our eyes and listen to another song figuring that somehow, some way we’ll do what they said can’t be done.

The joy of heartbreak provides more gifts than some realize.

A deep and profound appreciation for the unexpected and unsought gifts that we stumble upon and an understanding of the importance of ceasing the moment.

You’re never guaranteed a second chance, doesn’t matter how hard you work, beg, pray or plead so you better make the most of this moment.

This single, solitary chance to turn the ordinary into something extraordinary and burn it into memory everlasting.