Gordon Lightfoot is singing about an Affair on 8th Avenue and I am staring at a wall in a city I once called home knowing I’ll blink and the moment will be gone.
It is probably better than staring at Facebook wondering why so many people feel the need to try and prove they haven’t the faintest idea how to construct an argument based upon fact or logic.
My head is swimming with a million thoughts and ideas so here I sit processing and thinking about what I have learned.
Rumor has it Texas is a good place to live for those who are in need of a kidney because of a lack of safety laws that make it easier to find organ donors.
Never thought that I might be interested in or need such information but life is nothing but an eternal prankster.
Rain splashes down upon my windshield and the usual parade of memories flips and floats across my mental screen.
AC/DC doesn’t quite have the same kick it once did, can’t decide if it is because of the car I am driving or time.
I’m a rolling thunder, a pouring rain
I’m comin’ on like a hurricane
My lightning’s flashing across the sky
You’re only young but you’re gonna dieI won’t take no prisoners, won’t spare no lives
Nobody’s putting up a fight
I got my bell, I’m gonna take you to hell
I’m gonna get you, Satan get youHell’s bells
Yeah, hell’s bells
You got me ringing hell’s bells
My temperature’s high, hell’s bell
Respect Your Craft
I’m listening to the a Metallica interview Howard Stern did earlier this year and drummer Lars Ullrich is talking about how he has to be stretched before their concerts now.
I like listening to Howard’s interviews because he doesn’t limit himself to lobbing softballs.
He pushes and pokes for real information and I appreciate that.
Lars and the rest of the band talk about their respect for their craft and their professionalism and I respect that.
He says without stretching his body won’t perform the way he wants it to and I respect that too.
These discussions always catch my eye and ear now. I don’t expect to suddenly discover a fountain or The Fountain of Youth but it doesn’t mean I won’t fight to retain my health.
Doesn’t mean I won’t go raging into the night trying to stretch some moments just a little bit longer.
I can’t beat Father Time into submission, but I can make him be a little kinder to me.
Facebook Didn’t Make You Stupid
Sometimes I find myself muttering to myself about the intelligence of people arguing on Facebook.
I never fool myself into thinking that no one says the same after reading my own comments or status updates, but the list of people whose opinion means something to me is short.
Something about it reminds me of looking someone in the eye and asking them if they still loved me.
Maybe it is the dichotomy of relationships held in person and those held online.
It is very different to call someone names from behind a keyboard than to do so in person.
Feels kind of weird to put a giant picture of my face here, but that is sort of the format.
Anyhoo, the weirder part is looking at that guy and realizing he doesn’t look close to 25 or even 30 anymore.
Or maybe it is because my mom looked at me, shook her head and said she is trying to figure out how her baby became a man.
That I understand because in a few days my own little man is going to be 16.
Hard to believe, but then he puts his hand against mine and that makes it clear he is not so little anymore.
I look at him and his little sister and think about what I need to do to help secure their futures and shake my head because so much is already out of my hands.
In some ways the most important and helpful thing I can do is focus upon securing my own health and retirement so that it is never something they think about.
I can’t guarantee that things will go exactly as I hope or wish but I significantly influence whether they think about transplants and the like, or so I like to think.
The Sibling Life
Middle sister calls and checks in with me about this and that.
She asks me if I remember a certain guy from junior high who used to tease her a bit and I tell her that he grew up to be a schmuck.
We talk about our kids and reminisce while trying to figure out solutions to certain challenges.
When she tells me I can’t understand how angry somethings make her I ask her if she remembers a certain incident and she laughs.
There are some things only siblings understands and she knows big brother is serious about some solutions because she does remember.
Funny to think I can’t just do as I once did to solve some of these things and it has nothing to do with not being 20 anymore.
Just a part of time moving on and having to adapt and adjust I suppose.
*****
The Eagles are singing Take It Easy and I am smiling because if time has taught me how to do anything it is to take it easy.
Doesn’t mean that fire in my belly burns any less brightly because it doesn’t, but I have gotten better about picking my moments.
Of course if you leave me sitting on the tarmac for an hour and then slow my exit because you park a wheelchair in the middle of a tunnel you might hear from me, but we’ll save that sort of hypothetical for a different day.
Today it is all about being kinder, gentler and softer like the old man in the photo.
Got to run now, things are moving.
