The Promises I Won't Make

Twenty-eight years ago someone asked me to promise I would do something for them and I refused.

You may wonder if I regret having done and or if I wish I had done things differently.

The answer is I don’t regret having refused and of course there are some things I wish I had done differently.

I am human and I can’t conceive of someone living a life where they never make mistakes or wish they had a chance to make a different choice.

We all do and it’s fine as long as you don’t live your life in a constant state of panic or irritation because of the choices you made or didn’t.

Some people complained it is hard get a commitment from me to do things.

I told them I was sorry they felt that way and explained I don’t promise to do things unless I intend to follow through upon them.

Promises made and unfilled gnaw at me because I tend to take those things very seriously.

Can’t and won’t say I have made good on every promise I have ever made.

Nor will I say that I will never fail to follow through on a promise again, but it doesn’t mean I am not going to try.

Doesn’t mean that I won’t give significant effort to following through on things that might take years.

If I give you my word I am going to try and do something it means I am going to do my damnedest to make it happen.

And if I am not moved to put real effort into something there is a good chance it will be hard to pin me down.

Doesn’t mean I won’t do as you ask or request but it might mean it won’t happen on the timely basis you might hope for.

It also means if you promise me you’ll do something I might question you about it.

I might ask you to confirm and or clarify because if I think you have promised something I am likely to hold you to it.

You can attribute this post to a conversation I had a with a certain teenager about managing expectations.

A conversation in which we had to allow for people to be people and discuss about how not all things are black and white.

We also had to focus a bit on allowing for others to change and ourselves.

The things we once loved to do as a child change as we age as do the things we loved to do as adults.

Not everything and everyone moves forward with us.

It is one of of those conversations you have in which you realize how difficult it can be to explain simple things.

A reminder that people don’t always do the logical or rational thing.

Sometimes they just do stuff and they can’t tell you why they did it.

They just did.

Sometimes this parenting thing is easy and sometimes it is really tricky.

Per special request here is a reminder you can find links to past posts in the archives.

And if you just happen to be really lazy here is a bunch of links to recent stuff.

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