A Healthy Dad Denial

Reebok high tops, rolled jeans, fanny pack- Yep it is 1989.

You can call this opening line confession or disclosure. If you want you can say I am writing this post because I was compensated (are you listening FTC) or you can take the more noble approach and call it one father’s confession.

That’s because the point of the post is to talk about the importance of being a healthy dad and it is why I am using the picture above…again.

This time around it is to point out that the handsome devil on the far right would try to kill me for letting us get so…soft. I can make a ton of excuses, some of them almost reasonable for why 25 years later the hard body with the six pack abs is more like a soft body with a case of abs.

That kid in the photo above had no responsibilities and could hit the gym daily without any regard for anyone else. He grew into a man who watched two grandfathers and  grandmother live into their nineties and figured that between genetics and the fact he exercises more than his own father or grandfather convince him that having to loosen a belt buckle or two was ok.

You can and should call it denial of a growing problem and you can even say that talking about myself in the third person is representative of some of that.

Ten years ago I stood in hospital room and looked at my father and promised that wouldn’t happen to me. I swore I wasn’t going to end up on a ventilator and started a healthier diet and increased the amount of exercise I got.

For a long while it worked well and then at some point I fell off of that wagon and the weight I lost found me. It didn’t happen overnight and it didn’t take me completely by surprise, hell I fought back and I dropped it again.

But that sneaky bastard denial lulled me to sleep again and I didn’t wake up until my son out ran me.  He didn’t beat me in a foot race but his endurance surpassed mine.

An Ongoing Battle

My old frenemie denial helped me write that race off because I went to the gym that night and beat a bunch of younger guys across the basketball court and after 90 minutes of running on the court with them we went to lift and I out worked most of them. Lifted more weight, did more reps and outlasted them or so I told myself.

It took three days to recover.

Three days of being sore and feeling like I had been worked over but my stubborn nature and my frenemie denial convinced me that if I powered through all would be well.

For a while it was and then I took a harder look at old pictures and new. Took a look at the guy in the mirror and in the video and decided it was time to make a significant effort to change.

Some of it came because I heard stories about people I knew dying young from a variety of terminal illnesses. One night I watched my kids sleep and decided that at 45 I simply can’t fool myself into believing I can just shrug it off any more so I made a promise to myself to find tools and resources I could use to help live a healthier life.

There Are Lots Of Resources Available Now

We live during a time when there are a ton of resources available for us. You can find help in a variety of places online.

Anthem Blue Cross wants to help you address your most basic health needs and questions through online initiatives such as Live Online Health and their new mobile app for Google and iOS phones.

If that doesn’t work for you do yourself and your family a favor and find one that does. Take the time to figure out how to make your health plan work for you.

Help Your Family With Extra Cash!!

XY Media is sponsoring a contest to celebrate dads living a healthy lifestyle. All you have to do is submit a family-friendly video to https://www.facebook.com/healthydads and you could win a $100 Amazon giftcard just in time for the holidays. Be a #HealthyDad . For the official rules, go here.

Don’t be shy about participating, get goofy like the knucklehead in the video below. It is for a good cause. Your health is worth it.

Disclosure: Thanks to WellPoint, Inc., which compensated me for this post, for including dads in this important discussion about family health care. My views are based solely on my experience as a parent, and not as a medical professional.

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By Joshua Wilner

Hi, I am Josh Wilner and I am happy that you have decided to visit my corner of cyberspace. I am a writer/marketer/friend and family man. My professional background includes more than twenty years in working with businesses to help them do a better job of connecting with their existing and prospective customers. More specifically I have worked with companies of all sizes from the Fortune 500 to the new start up to help them build, develop and grow their social media and marketing plans. I love spending time with my family and friends. I enjoy music, reading, writing, playing sports and laughing.

4 comments

  1. Nina Badzin – Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website. Follow her on on Instagram: @dear.nina.b and on TikTok @dearninapodcast.
    Nina Badzin says:

    My husband works hard to stay healthy . . . now if I could just get him to do a picture of some kind I would hashtag it!

    1. TheJackB – Someone complained that this page doesn’t tell you what to expect to find here in this blog so I aim to rectify this with the next line. I am a father who writes about life, parenting, business, politics and fiction. I don’t use an editorial calendar because I don’t map out what I am going to write that far in advance. The primary focus will be on things that relate to children and parenting. But the nifty thing about that is that encompasses a wide range of things. Sometimes I work with companies on their PR/Marketing efforts. If they provide products or services I will disclose it. Here is an incomplete list of companies that I am currently or have recently worked with: Nintendo, Philips Norelco, Subway, Frigidaire and Mattel. Want to know more about me, keep reading. If I wanted to provide a professional description it would looks similar to this: Jack has a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism from California State University Northridge. He has been writing for print and web publications for more than twenty years, covering a wide range of topics including: business, technology, parenting, politics, education, sports and religion. That is far too serious so I prefer to use something like: The Jack B. is a writer and author of 39 unpublished books and three screenplays. A former athlete and would be superhero he still fights for truth, justice and the American Way. Though he may look like a grown man, don’t fool yourself he is still a boy at heart. When he is not engaged in Walter Mitty like fantasies he is a husband, father and friend and blogs at TheJackB. Hmm…obviously I have since moved from Random Thoughts over to this place, but that is ok. This page is a work in progress which is a good description for me. I’ll probably tweak this on a regular basis so feel free to keep checking back in because you never know what might show up. I am a prolific writer and update frequently so don’t forget to scroll down the page to see what nugget of wisdom you just might have missed. Here is a short selection of posts to get you started. A Father Describes Parenting A Father’s Burden How Sister’s Helped to Train A Father of “Daddy’s Girl” Inside the Blogger’s Studio- A Dream, Er Nightmare The GermoPhobe What I Dream About I am In Love Becoming a Dad Dad’s Most Important Job A Decade of Dad Grandpa Donuts Why Your Post Sucks and Everyone Hates Your Blog A Letter To My Children- Things That Matter A Letter To My Children-2011 Dad Balances Fear Versus Reality Q&A With Daddy Blogger JackB Save The Last Dance For Me- 75 Years of Marriage An Uncertain Certainty Four Generations & A Wedding The Best Thing My Father Ever Said To Me 1 Foolproof Way To Become a Better Writer The Story Of A House- The Final Days He Died A Hero Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger Thanks for coming by, I hope you like it. If you want to reach me use the contact form or try talk-to-jacknow-at-gmail-dotcom You can also find more information by clicking About Me and reading my profile there. Also, I encourage you to sign up for my newsletter using the form on the top right hand side of the page.
      Josh says:

      @ninabadzin:disqus Sounds like a blog post waiting to be written.

  2. I was in the same boat. I never believed that the pounds I was gaining was actually making me look like I had a beer gut despite only drinking occasionally. Lately, I have taken an approach that I want to stick around long enough to see my grandkids. If I don’t take care of myself, that might not happen.

    It is great to be a healthy dad.

    1. TheJackB – Someone complained that this page doesn’t tell you what to expect to find here in this blog so I aim to rectify this with the next line. I am a father who writes about life, parenting, business, politics and fiction. I don’t use an editorial calendar because I don’t map out what I am going to write that far in advance. The primary focus will be on things that relate to children and parenting. But the nifty thing about that is that encompasses a wide range of things. Sometimes I work with companies on their PR/Marketing efforts. If they provide products or services I will disclose it. Here is an incomplete list of companies that I am currently or have recently worked with: Nintendo, Philips Norelco, Subway, Frigidaire and Mattel. Want to know more about me, keep reading. If I wanted to provide a professional description it would looks similar to this: Jack has a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism from California State University Northridge. He has been writing for print and web publications for more than twenty years, covering a wide range of topics including: business, technology, parenting, politics, education, sports and religion. That is far too serious so I prefer to use something like: The Jack B. is a writer and author of 39 unpublished books and three screenplays. A former athlete and would be superhero he still fights for truth, justice and the American Way. Though he may look like a grown man, don’t fool yourself he is still a boy at heart. When he is not engaged in Walter Mitty like fantasies he is a husband, father and friend and blogs at TheJackB. Hmm…obviously I have since moved from Random Thoughts over to this place, but that is ok. This page is a work in progress which is a good description for me. I’ll probably tweak this on a regular basis so feel free to keep checking back in because you never know what might show up. I am a prolific writer and update frequently so don’t forget to scroll down the page to see what nugget of wisdom you just might have missed. Here is a short selection of posts to get you started. A Father Describes Parenting A Father’s Burden How Sister’s Helped to Train A Father of “Daddy’s Girl” Inside the Blogger’s Studio- A Dream, Er Nightmare The GermoPhobe What I Dream About I am In Love Becoming a Dad Dad’s Most Important Job A Decade of Dad Grandpa Donuts Why Your Post Sucks and Everyone Hates Your Blog A Letter To My Children- Things That Matter A Letter To My Children-2011 Dad Balances Fear Versus Reality Q&A With Daddy Blogger JackB Save The Last Dance For Me- 75 Years of Marriage An Uncertain Certainty Four Generations & A Wedding The Best Thing My Father Ever Said To Me 1 Foolproof Way To Become a Better Writer The Story Of A House- The Final Days He Died A Hero Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger Thanks for coming by, I hope you like it. If you want to reach me use the contact form or try talk-to-jacknow-at-gmail-dotcom You can also find more information by clicking About Me and reading my profile there. Also, I encourage you to sign up for my newsletter using the form on the top right hand side of the page.
      Josh says:

      @therookiedad:disqus It took a bit of doing to look in the mirror and not make excuses, at least it did for me. I am with you about the importance of taking care of ourselves, not just for our kids/grandkids but for us. It just feels better.

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