I heard they cremated an old friend who died far too young and I told those who might have influence upon my future to never do …
Forty-Nine More Lies About Turning 50
It still throws me to see Ryan Hurst play Gerry Bertier in Remember The Titans, sorry dude, you'll forever be Opie to me. Samcro …
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Searching For A Better Way To Relax
The music plays and it gives me ideas for a better way to relax than to consider ordering packages that come in plain wrap or are …
It Wasn’t Just Another Saturday Night
Out of town guests insisted on taking me out to celebrate my 50th birthday, so I threw on a party shirt and walked past the …
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Turn Out The Lights & Buy Life Insurance
I wished him a Happy 50th Birthday and we exchanged the usual banter about how it used to sound so old and can we really be this …
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It’s Not A Movie Date
This girl I know once told me I am not as tall as remembered and I laughed and said it doesn't matter when you are …
Don’t Cry In Front Of Men
A woman I know once told me her mother taught her to never cry in front of men. I told her that was a coincidence because I was …
She Kissed Me First
The phone rang at precisely 1 PM Central time and a computerized voice told me the IRS had filed a case against me and that my …
The Shmata You Wear
I brought the young mister with me to the gym tonight and told him I needed his help to push me a little bit further and …
Is It A Mathematical Certainty?
Can't decide what song I ought to be singing along with 'cuz the first makes a certain amount of sense as does this one and this …