Joshua Wilner

A Writer Writes

Archives for November 2013

69 Ways To Prostitute Yourself While Building Your Blog & Brand

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I stumbled onto ‘Lede’ vs. ‘Lead’ and had to stop to read it if for no other reason than it fits a million discussions I have had with friends and family about our proclivity as people to romanticize certain periods of life.

In spite of how some people interpreted Once We Were Kings you can also count me among those who are capable of living in the present while periodically visiting the past.

If you have been a part of social media and the blogosphere for more than a week it is hard not to think about these things because the same posts are written ten thousand times by ten thousand different bloggers.

And in response ten thousand more write about how there is nothing new under the sun and share their jaded commentary about how we should all just give up because all that needs to be said has been said.

I get it, I really do because I have been on both sides. Been the new guy and the grizzled veteran and so take these words any way you want.

 69 Ways To Prostitute Yourself While Building Your Blog & Brand

You can blame that subhead on my participation in a half dozen recent discussions about the current state of blogging/social media and where we see the future taking us.

Why?

Well we had the standard conversation about how review and giveaway bloggers don’t have real readers. Their visitors only show up because they hope to win a prize.

Can’t say I completely disagree with that. I am sure if you dig through all of my posts you’ll find one or more in which I talked about it.

FWIW, I no longer care one whit about whether the review/giveaway blogs have authors that call themselves writers or bloggers. There was a time when it bothered me because I didn’t like someone who didn’t produce important content to call themselves either because I felt it devalued my work.

I don’t worry about that anymore, but I am still bothered by the hacks and cut rate artists who work for free because they do devalue the work of real writers.

Sure everyone needs to make a living but it is hard to be supportive of the people that make it twice as hard for you to charge reasonable rates. But then again if you are not interested in paying for professional work you might not be the right person to work with.

Anyhoo, let’s circle back for a moment to the whole “prostitution” thing or in less friendly terms, talk about bloggers who whore themselves out for their blog.

Personal Standards

Most bloggers don’t claim to be journalists and even fewer are trained as such so the conversation about treating blogs/bloggers by professional journalistic standards is questionable.

Should bloggers be responsible for fact checking and content on their blogs?

I would say yes but acknowledge that the comment section might fall into some shade or shades of gray.

None of this relieves the readers of their responsibility and obligation to question what they read. The New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post are not error free and neither are the talking heads we see on television.  David Gregory, Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw can all attest to that.

You should read and watch critically because it is the smart thing to do, but put that aside for a moment and focus on the topic of whether it is ethical for bloggers to receive free products and services in exchange for content or publish sponsored content.

Again if you ask me I don’t have a problem with it provided full disclosure is provided. After that it is up to the reader to decide whether they believe what the blogger has shared about product XYZ.

It all comes down to personal standards.

But What About Prostituting Yourself To Build Your Blog

If you are among those bloggers that run giveaways because you like getting free stuff and it helps you drive traffic I would suggest you ask yourself a few questions.

  • If you didn’t host a giveaway would people still visit your blog? Is there real content there or is every post about the $5 gift card for Bialy’s Bagels?

Because if you never provide real content besides free crap the traffic will disappear just as soon as you stop giving stuff away. That might not be a bad thing, it depends on you.

  • How many hours did you work to get that $5 gift card for Bialy’s Bagels?

More than a few bloggers have learned the hard way that you can end up working for free. If you are not careful that free $5 gift card the agency promised for hosting the giveaway doesn’t hold the same value because you put in 25 hours of your time.

I thought about writing more about this and tying in some snarky comment about how this post describes the people in Job Titles Are Not Impressive but it really doesn’t. There is a much bigger range of ages and experience here.

Frankly that is a separate post but the good news is that if you feel shortchanged here you need not worry because I can guarantee you’ll come across another ten thousand posts about these very same topics because the more things change, the more they stay the same.

What do you think?

Does JFK Mean Anything To Generation X?

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Memory is a funny thing which is why I can’t say how old I was when I first heard about President Kennedy’s assassination. It happened six years before I was born so I can’t tell you a thing about how I felt or what I saw that day.

I think I remember learning about it in first grade around the same time we were learning about Martin Luther King, but I am not positive about that either. It was the Spring of ’76 and America was celebrating the Bicentennial so our teachers made a big deal about history and how we would live through experiences that would change our lives forever.

Of course when you are seven you don’t realize how easy it is for your teacher to remember some of those life changing events. The assassinations of Kennedy and King, Civil Rights Moment, Vietnam and Watergate are mostly just stuff grown ups care about. You are too busy trying to ride your Big Wheel, hang out with friends and watch The Six Million Dollar Man.

Generation X- Slackers Grown Up

Can’t say I ever liked the Generation X label but it has been around long enough for people to understand the reference and since I am a part of it I figured I might as well use it.

Figured that it might be interesting to share thoughts of a member of what was once called the slacker generation about JFK because he was a big deal for quite a few of our parents.

6thfloormuseum

This past August I made a point to visit The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza. I was living in Texas and the trip across the Metroplex was easy to make and since I had just finished reading Stephen King’s Novel 11/22/63 Kennedy was on my mind.

I wanted to see first hand where everything had gone down and to try to gain a greater understanding of why Kennedy was such a big deal to my parent’s generation.

Some of it was easy for me to follow.

I was 12 when President Reagan was shot, 17 when The Challenger exploded, in college for the first Gulf War and was married and a father for 9/11.

The boys and I have talked about how these moments impacted us. Some of them were more significant than others, but they made enough of an impression to merit conversations.

Many of us have spoken with our children about how flying used to be so very different before 9/11 or about how we didn’t have cellphones or computers when we were in 4th grade.

Life experience has changed our perspectives.

What Does JFK Mean To Generation X?

I am not entirely certain how I want to answer that. Haven’t conducted large scale research about JFK and how my generation views him at large so take that into consideration.

Most of these thoughts are my own with a smattering of friends mixed in.

The mythology surrounding the man is a big part of what got my attention. I can appreciate how very different he was to my parent’s generation and how it was new to see a leader who wasn’t an old man. I can kind of understand the convergence of that alongside television coverage and how it made him exciting, dynamic and promising.

They didn’t have a 24 hours news cycle and or the kind of media coverage that would have made certain any improprieties would be discussed ad nauseum.

So when I look at JFK I see things differently.

I see a charismatic man who came from wealth and who might have been a very good president. I like some of the speeches and things he did and am certain if he hadn’t been assassinated things would have been different.

But how different they would be I don’t know.

No one can say what would have happened with Vietnam or how he would have handled other situations. All we have is speculation and while it is fun to talk about it is just speculation.

It is similar to saying that if I was 7 feet tall I definitely would have played in the NBA. You could argue that is factual conjecture. Basketball players are tall and a 7 foot man is among the biggest on the planet so he would have a shot at playing.

But it doesn’t account for whether he has athletic ability or a desire to play.

So we can’t say what would happen with certainty. We can’t say I would have been in the NBA or that Kennedy’s New Frontier would have led to a more prosperous and peaceful time today.

Take a Stand

If push comes to shove I think things would have certainly been better if he hadn’t been assassinated for no other reason than we would be a kinder and gentler nation.

Maybe there would be fewer conspiracy theorists and a greater faith/trust in government. Maybe more people would vote and there wouldn’t be as much apathy.

What do you think?

What Kind Of Blogger Are You?

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My children and I have an ongoing conversation about when it is good to be part of the crowd and when you need to stand out. They know I am not shy about sharing my feelings and am willing to be vocal in standing up for what I believe in.

It is important to me they understand the value of not being just another face in the crowd but it is also important they recognize that sometimes you don’t want to be that guy/gal that everyone notices.

Election night crowd, Wellington, 1931


Some people will tell you there is a benefit in always being the center of attention and that when you do that good things come from it. It is the “bad PR is still good PR” philosophy but I don’t buy that as being something that works for everyone and everything. It is something that is good when you have leverage and a certain amount of power.

But if you don’t…

What Kind Of Blogger Are You?

Earlier today I deleted several emails I received from experts who put together newsletters that promised if I didn’t point, click and sign up today I would miss out on learning secrets for blogging and social media success that I was unlikely to find elsewhere.

What came across from these newsletters was a mixture of hype and fear. I don’t know about you but I find that to be a poor way to sell your services.

I don’t want to make my living based upon fear. I don’t want to be the kind of blogger who doesn’t know how to stand out from the crowd without scaring people into following/buying their services.

It is an easy sale to make but not a good basis for building a relationship and that is my focus.

People Power Social Media

People power social media and people are the motor that powers life. It is why I teach my children sometimes it is more important to get along with others than to be good at things.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t want them to be good at everything they do or that they shouldn’t make an effort but it does mean people like to spend time with those they like.

Especially when you get out of school and into the so called real world. I have worked with a bunch of people who weren’t particularly adept at what they did, but everyone liked them and sometimes that was enough to secure their positions.

And if you apply the same sort of of mindset/rule to social media it is easy to see the need to get along with people.

Are you the kind of blogger that makes their living off of fear or upon building relationships with others.

I know who I am, do you?

Once We Were Kings

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chadarochel
Sometimes the noise inside my head is overwhelming and I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath and remind myself that all  I am hearing are echoes from the past and nothing more.

I suppose I should clarify something, I am not crazy and I am completely aware of where I am, what year it is and what I am doing.

You see that picture above is what we called the Chadar Ochel, the dining hall from the camp I went to as a camper and worked at as a counselor. If you were trying to make a list of places and people that had a significant impact on my life camp would be somewhere around the top of the list.

I can’t spend any time there without the memories of the friends, relationships and experiences that came into my life because of it and since I spent the weekend there with my family there are a million thoughts swirling through my mind.

The Glory Years

Camp is a funny sort of place to me. Sometimes we talk about how once we were kings and how we roamed the hills of Ojai and everyone knew us.

We were the favorite counselors, most likely suspects for practical jokes and the counselors that our campers wanted to grow up to be. Younger siblings would sometimes complain about how they were tired of always being known as so and so’s little brother/sister.

They wanted to be known for themselves and not as the younger sibling.

And yet time passes and all of the notoriety dies down and disappears because we all stop being campers and most of us stop working at camp. It doesn’t take long for people to move on to other things and for your name/face to be forgotten because you aren’t there and others have filled your place.

Yet when you think about your time at camp it is hard not to view it as being the golden years. There was never a better time, better people or more fun to be had than when you were there.

It is at times an unrealistic and egocentric position but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing because when you think about camp it is preferable to view it that way and not as an awful place you hated.

Then and Now

This weekend I tried not to be the old guy who can only talk about the past and who can’t believe that anyone could have more fun now than we did in the past.

It felt to me like I did a good job of it in part because camp isn’t the same any more.That is not a bad thing either, it has grow and expanded and that makes me happy.

The location is the same but there are some new buildings and a bunch of the old have been remodeled. So I can’t say that I have memories/experiences everywhere there like I used to and because of some of those changes the view has changed in some areas.

Can’t see certain landmarks in the hills surrounding camp in the same way anymore. If we stood on the hill and I described what I saw during The Fire it wouldn’t have the same feeling for you but then again if you weren’t there you might not appreciate what it meant to be evacuated at 3:30 AM.

You wouldn’t know what it felt like to see the entire camp out on the baseball field, to see the music director carrying Torahs under his arm or to have seen fear on the faces of some of the mothers that worked there.

And that is ok.

There Is A Season

Since I went to college in Los Angeles I was lucky to work at camp year round so when I look at the picture above of the Chadar Ochel I am not surprised to see an empty lawn in front of it.

That is something you don’t see during the summer because there are always people, especially right before a meal when the bunks/tents are lined up and or people are dancing.

But even though I have spent lots of time at camp outside of the summer inevitably my memory is drawn to summer time and it is hard not to think about people.

Because ultimately it is people who made camp important, meaningful and significant. It is people who helped to create those moments and memories and they are far more fun to think about when I am sharing them with those who were there.

It was good to be back at camp.

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Stopped at the beach on the way back from camp and smiled not just because I love the water but because it is the same beach we went to with camp. More memories.

You Get What You Pay For- Hire A Professional

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Construction vehicle

Many years ago I worked as a Project Manager for a general contractor who did both residential and commercial work.

Since it was before the great recession but smack in the middle of the reality television boom we found that many of our best customers were  Do-It-Yourself (DIY) homeowners who had learned the hard way that some projects were much harder than they appeared on television.

I can’t tell you how many times I saw the carnage that came from a DIYer’s attempt to do some basic electrical/plumbing work let alone the crooked tiles and the cabinets that had doors that wouldn’t open.

What Is Good Is Not Cheap & What is Cheap Is Not Good

Been thinking about it all for personal and professional reasons. Within the professional world there is a conversation about whether writers should work for free so that they can gain exposure.

And within the personal there is a Bar Mitzvah coming and we are smack in the middle of trying to figure out how to cover all the things we want to do and your favorite writer is trying to decide if he is going to hire someone to do a photo montage or if he’ll do it himself.

I can’t articulate how irritating it is to me to hear writers talk about how smart it is to work for free and how exposure is so valuable. Until exposure is accepted as legal tender by the banks, power companies and grocery stores my interest in it is limited.

Limited because there are some opportunities where exposure brings enough juice to the table to merit a real conversation but most of the time exposure is code for we can’t afford to pay you or we don’t value your work all that much.

Exposure has a step cousin called cheap that I am not real fond of either.

Cheap is usually the favorite child of the crowd that loves the low price leader and the people who don’t value a professional writer’s work because they think it is easy to sit at a computer and write copy.

I am not a fan of theirs because frequently what is good is not cheap & what is cheap is not good.

Value

The root of all this is value and when you don’t value something you often don’t want to pay for it. Some of prospects and former customers told me they didn’t like paying so much for construction because they saw it as work that was done by the stupid and mindless.

I didn’t engage them in philosophical discussions or point out that they spent two weeks and $8000 dollars doing something that my crew would have done for half , in half the time and with a much higher quality finish because I didn’t see an upside to it.

As a professional writer life has been a little different because I have had discussions about value and explained why I rarely work for free. One client asked me to justify my rate and I told them that I could do a better job than they could in half the time that it would take them to do it.

They saw the benefit in that. Not only was the finished product better than what they could do but it was turned around in far less time than it would have taken them and time is always worth something.

But that happened because we came to an agreement on the value of the work. It doesn’t always turn out that way.

There are people in other countries who speak English who work for pennies and they are grabbing chunks of business. I don’t fault them for trying to make a living but it is worth mentioning that you can speak/write perfect English and not produce the kind of copy people need because there are cultural differences.

What About That Photo Montage?

One of the things we want to do for my son’s Bar Mitzvah is put together a photo montage of pictures. Think of it as a slideshow with some music.

Amidst my commentary about the need to hire professionals I mentioned that I am thinking about doing the montage myself. Since I appear to be contradicting myself I thought I’d explain why.

This is a project that I know I am capable of doing because it is similar to other work I have done but my first choice would be to hire a professional to handle it.

That is because I am certain they will do a better job and it will take them less time to complete it. Time is valuable and I would prefer to focus it elsewhere.

However it looks like the budget won’t allow for it so I’ll probably take it on. But unlike some of my former clients if I screw it up I don’t have to worry about being forced to redo a bathroom or spend thousands to repair the botched electrical work in my dining room.

This Is Why People Hate Your Business & Curse Your Name

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Business of Software - Dharmesh Shah

Remember the previous post where I talked about 50 tons of bagels and writing a Bar Mitzvah speech? Well some of the experiences I have had working on the aforementioned Bar Mitzvah are really why I am writing the post you are reading now.

If you are not a Member of the Tribe you might not be aware that a Bar Mitzvah is a pretty big deal for us and that there are often multiple events outside of the religious component that are tied into it.

An incomplete list of those might include catering music, hall/hotel, entertainment, photography/video and travel arrangements. The exact scale varies from family to family and person to person but size isn’t the issue here.  We’ll get to that in a moment.

Lessons Learned From Past Experiences.

A thousand years ago when we were planning our wedding we made the mistake of being too thorough in our search for a venue and vendors. I think we visited about 38 different hotels, restaurants and halls and met with countless other vendors.

What I remember about that time is thinking it would lead to a good deal and that it was smart to be patient about making such a big choice.

If I could go back in time I would grab the smug 26 year-old boy and shake him because we saw so many different places and met with so many different people we made ourselves crazy and it wasn’t because of indecision.

There were plenty of places/people that were eliminated within the first visit.

You can accuse me of being slow and doing things in my own time but I do learn and I knew this time around I wasn’t going to go meshugeh meeting with ten thousand different people.

This time around I figured not only would we meet with fewer people we would use the magic of social media and crowd sourcing to help narrow the field.

So I asked friends and relatives for references for who they used and checked in via Facebook so we could develop a short list of vendors and places to check out.

What Happened Next

What happened next was simple. We started out by checking out websites, making a few telephone calls and sending out some emails.

I was mildly surprised to stumble across some vendors who either didn’t have websites or alternatively had something that was cutting edge in 1998. I probably should be more tolerant of that but I am not.

That is because of how easy it has become to build a site. It doesn’t cost a heck of a lot to secure a domain, basic hosting, a premium WordPress theme and to populate it with some basic information and pictures.

But that is really minor compared to the issue that set me off.

Some people never respond to emails or telephone calls and I just don’t understand how you can operate your business that way.

The picture above with the happy face and Customer Happiness Index comes to mind because you can upset people who aren’t your customers and if you are in a referral business you might want to think about that.

Family Events Are Emotional

Family events are emotional activities. It doesn’t have to be a Bar/Bat Mitzvah because we could easily be talking about a wedding, Sweet 16 or some other family event.

I mention family event because most of the businesses I have been speaking with or trying to don’t focus solely upon Jewish events. And I know from conversations with non Jewish friends and the multitude of reality television shows that people can sometimes get a little crazy planning these things.

So if you happen to be someone who provides services to those events you might want to remember that because of this some people might be paying closer attention to who helps make the path easier and who doesn’t.

And if you don’t respond or acknowledge inquiries you could be losing a lot more business than you realize because the person who can’t reach you might feel a bit crazed from trying to plan their event and when someone asks them who they are using they might mention your company in less than favorable terms.

I am just saying.

How Much Does 50 Tons of Bagels Weigh?

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Move Ten Years Forward Or Ten Years Back.
Move Ten Years Forward Or Ten Years Back.

If your first thought is that no one told you that understanding higher math would be a requirement for reading this post you might want to grab 50 winks or a slurp down a couple of cups of coffee before you finish reading these words.

That is not because the answer to how much does 50 tons of bagels weigh is obvious but don’t think you are going to be given a reason for why you need to know how much that weighs.

You don’t need to know that any more than you need to know how much space is required to house 50 tons of bagels or if 50 tons of bagels is considered to be an extra large load for any of the major bagel manufacturers.

What The Hell Are You Talking About?

If you are among the 2,983 of my closest friends who are daily readers you are probably wondering  why I haven’t brought up the confluence of Chanukah and Thanksgiving as it relates to my distaste for the holiday season as well as curiosity about my personal connection to Jimmy Hoffa and President Kennedy.

Or maybe you are shaking your head now because you are really confused and are unsure if you should keep reading this. Well my answer is to keep reading this because some of the answers you seek might just be coming.

They are all tied into the little boy you see in the photo above because his Bar Mitzvah is imminent and I have to write a speech for it. Actually I don’t have to write a speech because I am fast on my feet and speaking off the top of my head is easy, always has been.

But the thing is that I want whatever I say to be the sort of thing that he remembers. I don’t want it to be the kind of thing that is just forgotten about and lost in the sands of time.

I want it to have a happier sort of feeling than the last section of Ozymandias.

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

How To Write A Bar Mitzvah Speech

The question of how to write a Bar Mitzvah speech isn’t hard to answer, at least not structurally. It needs a beginning, a middle and an end.

Simple enough.

So the question I ask is what do I want my son to take from this? What message do I hope to leave him and his younger sister with? Is this supposed to something that motivates and inspires or congratulatory?

The answers to these questions are subjective but I can assure you that you will find more than a few people who disagree with that. They’re the same people who tell you that if you breastfeed you will fix/hurt your children and that any child who attends public/private/homeschool is forever damaged and missing the advantages of those who did something else.

I don’t know about you, but I tend not to pay much attention to what others do. It is not because I think everything I do is perfect because I make my share of mistakes.

It is because there is no single way to do this parenting bit. No one right path and every one of us is just winging it.

So when I think about what sort of speech I want to give I suppose the first question I ask is what can I say that he will remember. In the midst of all of the excitement that is tied into this moment what is going to stick with him.

He knows his mom and I are proud of him and that his family loves him. He knows that we support him and we can barely articulate how proud we are.

What He Might Remember

It sounds goofy, but I am tempted to talk about how much 50 tons of bagels weigh and h0w much space it might take to hold it. If I compare fifty tons of bagels to fifty tons of donuts he might actually remember that too.

But then again maybe the most important point to make here is to remind him again of all of that support and love. Maybe this is the perfect time to publicly reiterate it.

Or maybe the best way to help him remember that the serious moments in life are broken up by lots of different things and moments of levity is to talk about those bagels and donuts.

I’d share some more thoughts about it with you but all this talk has made me terribly hungry so we’ll have to save that conversation for later.

See you in the comments, you bring the lox and I’ll bring the cream cheese.

The 27th Biggest Lie In Blogging

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Slow Time in Wrist Watch on Dry Leaf

I am typing slowly so that the social media experts who provide stellar advice to write epic content and to make sure it is not any longer than x number of words can keep up.

Unfortunately they probably won’t feel the snark dripping off that first sentence or see the sneer on my lips. Sorry mom, I am not being nice here but these people are peddling snake oil and it makes me crazy.

I Hate Your Epic Content

Every time I read a post where someone talks about writing epic content I want to use their head to clean the toilets at Grand Central Station. The word is meaningless, epic that is.

We killed it through inappropriate and over use.

Don’t ask me to explain why I hate your epic content. Don’t ask me to point out that so much of it is based upon your personal preference and not upon metrics we can discuss or upon facts/studies we can see.

Don’t ask me to point out that you and the echo chamber you belong to post the same old crap and never provide any new insight or analysis. If you are not coming up with something new and useful it is highly unlikely that it can be called epic.

Stop Making Up Crap About How Long Posts Should Be

The 27th biggest lie in blogging is the one where bloggers try to instruct you about how long posts should be. This idea that people won’t read more than 500 words is nonsense and patently false.

If you provide useful and interesting content people will take the time to read it.

People still read books and they read ones that aren’t filled with pictures and popups. If they’ll read 500 pages of erotica (50 Shades Of Grey) they’ll read 800 words about how to write a speech for your son’s Bar Mitzvah, how to build a birdhouse or the 25 most important plugins for your blog.

There is no single path to success in social media.

I don’t particularly care how you go about your business other than if you are promoting misinformation. FWIW, my stats show that more than 1/3rd of my readers spend more than 5 minutes on the blog.

That is a healthy chunk of time, especially for a society that has a short attention span.

Maybe it is because I produce epic content. 😉