You can accuse me of being slow but it took until the third day post surgery for everything to sink in.
From a bird’s eye perspective it makes sense to me that it took forced rest for me to slow down long enough to realize how big a bite of life I had taken on.
Instead of trying to eat the damn elephant one piece at a time I was trying to force it all down my throat at once.
I’ll skip over whether it was a smart approach and gloss over the lack of wisdom in trying to do things the hard way and move right to the present.
If you measured a person’s mood the same way the federal government measures our nuclear safety I am somewhere around DEFCON 3 and ready to hop, skip and jump my way to DEFCON 1.
The nice thing about being a grown up is I am very aware of why I am so on edge and actively taking steps to just relax.
So we’ll start my with pals Paul and Art and see what sort of influence that has upon things.
Too Much Time To Sit, Too Little To Do It All
Some people might say I am not particularly good at sitting around and doing nothing.
It is sort of funny because when I want to do an impression of a bump on a long I am pretty damn good at it.
What I am learning is I am not as good at it when it is forced upon me.
It is really hard not to lift and move stuff, especially when now is exactly the time in which I have to do so.
Truth is I didn’t want this particular moment to be as complicated and ridiculous as it is but life doesn’t always present you with options so I rolled with it.
I figured out a way to make this moment work and then life decided I was too cocky about adjusting and forced me to make a second and third adjustment.
And I am doing it, oh yes, I am doing it.
I am not going to tear out my stitches by doing something stupid the week after surgery but dammit, this is harder than I expected.
Got way too much time on my hands and yet not nearly enough.
It Is The Beginning Of Something Good
During the next few weeks and into September I am going to be doing a bit of traveling and a lot of moving around.
I am going to hit it hard and do my best to enjoy the moments because this is the beginning of something very good.
A lot of hard work has gone into making it to this place so I am not going to wreck it by focusing solely upon the few bumps I encounter.
So I’ll acknowledge my discomfort and say hello to fear.
And if fear looks me in the eye, well I’ll grab it by the throat and pull it close enough to feel my breath upon its neck and we’ll jump off of the cliff together.
I just hope I remember to land on him and not the reverse.
There is a big smile upon my face and my gut says all is going to be fine. Sometimes it is hard to sit and wait.
I tell my children there is no reward without some risk.
Sometimes you have to be like Frost and travel upon roads you might not have chosen had you really thought hard about it.