Someone called me jovial and I almost asked if that is supposed to be code for fat.
Didn’t say a word but took a look in the mirror to confirm my beard isn’t white and I wasn’t wearing a red suit.
Took another look in the garage to confirm there were no reindeer and noticed the bruised steed and realized that is part of why I am feeling extra ornery.
I am not a nice man or so I have assured a few who worked hard to earn my perpetual ire and irritation but this time there was no need to respond that way.
Almost wrote Edison to ask if his Lighthouse still knew where his Rosemary goes but said ‘fuck it,’ got no time for foolishness.
Took the lady on the phone three days too long to reach out and touch someone and the news she shared proved my suspicions of the other day to be true.
The man was dishonest in his report and consequently there is work to be done to prove whose honest response is to be trusted. Upon hearing this and the request for me to provide an accounting of what happened I silently said ‘fuck that’ because I am not going to do their work for them.
Especially when they will not be forthcoming with the information already provided for them and logic dictates they will twist and manipulate my words to serve their own fragments of fiction.
You can try to grab me by the short hairs but if we’re not in that kind of intimate relationship or you’re not doing so as part of a medical exam I agreed to you ought to keep looking for a five finger delight.
Well maybe not so delightful for you, unless you roll a different sort of way.
Some of you won’t ever understand nor appreciate this scene for what it is to me because they’ll see half the picture, but that is cool.
I am unlikely to say more than dad and I had some conversations over the years that this reminds me of. Of course this other scene strikes me for all sorts of reasons too
Sometimes I am confident dad and I had every conversation we could have given the circumstances and situations we found ourselves in.
Sometimes I shrug my shoulders as he did and accept what is because I can’t go back to what was. I can only change what will be.
But not always, sometimes I rage at what I didn’t think to ask or do. Sometimes I get angry because he didn’t listen and if he had things might have been different.
Maybe I shouldn’t.
Maybe I should tell those who don’t know me well that I don’t listen either because it is true. Of course I am still my own man and my A1C dropped a bit, not as much as I want, but enough for me to feel like I am doing something.
When destiny arrives you don’t have to accept it as a foregone conclusion. You can run away and or push back and see if you can’t force it to shift its path by an inch.
Sometimes that inch is all you need to change your life in a profound way.
Who Takes The Edge Off
Been thinking about the same few things for a while now and I come back to the same spaces and places.
It is always the question of “who takes the edge off” and helps make life more livable, enjoyable and entertaining. Who brings stress and strain and who reduces it.
There is never a perfect answer nor a person(s) who doesn’t have negative qualities to go with their positive attributes, but there are certainly those who you would describe in glowing terms before you listed the bad.
Consider this notice that more changes are coming, maybe not today or tomorrow but soon enough.