I never did get to give Alan his award for being the father of the number one fan and an honorary membership in the Earl Warren fan club but I wish I could have.
When you are an amateur Indiana Jones and you want to get a different sort of insight into how certain people became who they are you can never have a better resource than a person’s father.
But as the father of a daughter let me tell promise you that you never begin by telling dad what happened on the couch, in the car, on the stairs, plane, cruise ship or park bench because it makes us extra ornery.
Or maybe that is just me.
I am the guy who said he wanted to turn into a werewolf so he could eat the people that pissed him off, crap them out and then send that bag of shit to the next person who dared aggravate you.
Not that I expect it to work because the world frowns upon werewolves, even PETA won’t protect them, but I digress.
Been thinking about when past predictions are true and the reasons why you ought to avoid mentioning such things.
Been thinking about the best way to relieve stress and how my BP must have spiked 120 points during the last couple of days. Got a good laugh when someone told me they see me as being among the calmest, coolest and most collected people they know.
I am pretty good at hiding certain things from others. Pretty good at withstanding significant amounts of stress and appearing to be calm, but inside it is different.
Inside there is war, famine and pestilence but I do my best to mimic that old saw about being like a duck. You know the one about appearing to glide across the water while paddling like hell underneath the surface.
There was a moment around 2:30 when I felt my head start to spin a bit and I began to wonder whether I ought to sit down. I was standing next to a man who was easily six inches shorter and maybe a 100 pounds less.
I don’t know if he caught the look in my eyes when I wondered if I would crush him if I fell towards the left or if he would nimbly step out of the way.
The wave hit me hard in a way that reminded me of times when I had either over extended myself due to lack of sleep or drinking too much.
Caught me by surprise and pissed me off because almost middle age is not time for these kind of silly spells. We spoke for another moment and then I headed back to the car and checked my phone for messages.
Didn’t see any, shook my head and said “you need to make time for people, especially the important ones.”
There was no answer and so I set out for the next place and then the place after.
Eventually the time came to tell my metal steed to take me home and so I set off from near my former lair to the place I hang my hat in now.
Promised myself to continue to show my true face and to let the chips fall where they may and then cursed because the computer provided updated news that suggested I might be within spitting distance of a certain goal.
Silently howled with frustration because I could see a pattern and connections that suggested if a few people had been more cooperative I wouldn’t be dealing with the stress at the current level.
But that is how it goes, we’re always in a position in which we have to rely upon the choices and decisions of others who might not see things as we do and certainly won’t operate on a time frame that is comfortable and convenient.
Cursed again because I see confrontation coming and though I don’t fear it, I don’t particularly like it.
Unless you have worked extra hard to make sure you have my attention and then I am ready to hit you with the car, reverse, hit you with the car, reverse, defenestrate you and slowly dip you into a giant vat of hot sauce.
I ought to refund the price you paid to read this. Ought to give you back the money for the ticket and a couple of bucks for the inconvenience because this shit isn’t flowing.
There is no rhyme nor reason and though there is a dash of purpose it is not enough to persuade the passion to flow freely through the veins and arteries of this sick patient.
So it is time to call it.
There will be no more…tonight.