There are few things that make me as happy as waking up in the dead of night knowing your gut stomach and colon have decided this is the perfect time to do some spring cleaning.
It is only enhanced when you discover there is blood and wonder if maybe that pain you felt a moment or two earlier is your body sending you a message.
Somewhere around 2:15 or so I pulled myself erect and shambled over to the sink to wash my hands and make goofy faces in the mirror.
“Hey old man, it won’t be long before the doc tells you that you need a colonoscopy. Get it done and you won’t have to hear about how you have never done it.”
Bleary eyes didn’t hide the stupid grin on the face in the reflection.
“Don’t worry, if I let someone shove a camera up there, I’ll make it worth your while. Maybe I’ll buy you flowers.”
The face in the mirror rolled his eyes but laughed anyway.
“You should only pull this act on public transportation, it is the fastest way to get a seat on the bus. Try it and see how fast some hick from Oklahoma calls you creepy.”
You Said It First
The kids are arguing about something and I just can’t listen to it so I flash them a look and they team up in their response to it.
I try not to smile because their teaming up to tell me I am wrong or overreacting serves the purpose. They aren’t fighting and they are working together.
Can’t mention that to them because it would destroy the moment and we mustn’t do that.
In the middle of them telling me they are certain I have had stupid disagreements with other people and I smile at them.
They are right.
I remember the silly disagreements that came when emails and or text messages would lag and I would accuse or be accused of ignoring someone.
There was the goofy fight about who said I love you first and another about where you can find the best pizza/Mexican food too.
“Yeah, I have been in a few silly arguments but we are not talking about me. This is about you and I am pulling rank. I am your father and I don’t have the bandwidth to listen to this jibber-jabber.”
They roll their eyes at me and I bare my teeth.
A decade ago that would have made them giggle and run, but they are too big to from the dad the silly monster now and that’s ok.
Truth is, I need to find a quiet spot to process everything.
My mom and a nephew are both in the hospital (for different reasons) and I just received other news that could be huge.
If things go as I hope this could be the break I have been searching for and if not, well it could be pretty ugly.
But I am rooting for something like I talked about here.
Rooting for the unexpected to come through so that I can reap the rewards of hard work and luck.
The family medical issues look like they should work out, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little concerned.
Fourteen hours after the conversation with the reflection I am back in the bathroom threatening the stomach and colon with a knife.
They aren’t buying what I am trying to sell and I have to admit it is a fool’s errand to threaten to kick their ass and or cut them.
“Relax homey, you just got blood work back. Doc would have told you if he had seen anything nasty.”
The reflection smiles and says something about having caught a bug.
“Is it considered impolite if I give it back? Can I regift it?”
There are no answers so I do a soft shuffle out of the bathroom and mull over whether to hit the gym 0r take a night off.